England beat Switzerland in Euro 2024 semi final on penalties.

 England beat Switzerland in Euro 2024 semi final on penalties.

You can come out from behind the sofa now and it's safe to watch your TV. At this rate we'll all be gibbering wrecks, convulsed with fear and terror. What is it about the England football team and its now iconic relationship with penalty taking? This is turning into a cultural phenomena since every so often penalties have been so problematic for England that you wonder if a good, old fashioned psychiatrist should be consulted for an immediate appointment. There is something in the air when England are required to take penalties, an indefinable neurosis that none of us can quite work out. 

And yet maybe England only have themselves to blame. Besides, how hard can it be to score a penalty regardless of the extenuating circumstances. It's only a short distance and yet we build a metaphorical obstacle in front of us, since it should be a piece of cake but always ends up in a messy meringue pie. This time though, it worked in England's favour and now we can stop cowering away from the gogglebox and enjoy the present rather than dreading the future.

In a match that England showed a remarkable improvement on recent encounters, England found their ordinance survey map, finding their bearings and suggesting, on several occasions, that their tournament has started and not before time. For long periods, England were moving their bishops and knights all over the chessboard only to find that the castle had already left them in check mate. Then the ball seemed to go on that amazing voyage of discovery, conquering new territories before going back to square one.

England's opponents, for their part, knew exactly which side their bread was buttered and didn't need any hint of Swiss cheese to spoil their appetite. This was a hungrier, sharper England, far more clear cut in their thinking, quicker of movement, a team with wit and spontaneity in reserve, passing with far more precision than the slow tempo that had come to characterise all of their group stage matches and, latterly, Slovakia.

We knew this was never going to be easy because it never looked as though it would be. Switzerland were not here to just prove that all they're famous for is watches, cuckoo clocks, cheese and substantial bank accounts. This was a Switzerland fancying its chances in Euro 2024, never knowingly underestimated as evidenced by their very competent performances against Germany and Scotland. Suffice it to say that Switzerland were not here for an exchange of expensive chocolates after the match rather a major semi final place in the European Championships.

Throughout the first half and most of the second half, Switzerland held England at comfortable arms length but were always respectful of the opposition in front of them. They passed and moved whenever they had possession and looked as though they were just luxuriating in the moment and genuinely enjoying those intermittent periods when the game was flowing for them and the goals almost came to fruition.

The former Arsenal midfield lynch pin Grant Xhaka showed encouraging signs of dictating the play with the kind of stabilising and calming influence that Switzerland were probably hoping for. Xhaka was measured but dangerous, shrewd and influential whenever the Swiss had the ball.  There was Manuel Akanji, a Manchester City sparking plug and catalyst for everything that was positive for Switzerland. Ricardo Rodriguez combined with both Fabian Schar, constantly creating and inventing, carrying the ball with a skill and confidence that perhaps we weren't expecting from Switzerland. 

At no point did it look like the Swiss were going to produce anything out of the ordinary since this is not what Swiss teams have ever done. This is not to suggest Switzerland are just historical lightweights in these tournaments because they did indeed take England to the wire and beyond. Switzerland were just middle of the road, knowing their strengths and weaknesses and always to be watched. From time to time, Ruben Vargas and Michel Aebischer did stretch the English defence to breaking point.

But for all their threatening attacking play, Switzerland never really disturbed England's equilibrium. There were purple patches from the Swiss but invariably England had most of the open play and found themselves with far more room to manoeuvre than they might have imagined. So England kept circling around the Swiss waggons with the kind of football that might eventually prove their undoing against the Netherlands in the Euro 2024 semi final. And at the moment, any kind of victory against either the Spanish or French in a hypothetical Euro 2024 final, feels almost as improbable as a British mountaineer reaching the summit of Mount Everest.

Still, it is now time to admire the studious manner of England manager Gareth Southgate. Southgate still has the demeanour of a bank manager, quite happy to engage in any discussion about mortgage rates or the current state of the housing market. Sometimes the body language is just a well kept secret. There 's the hard, quizzical stare, the tips of his fingers neatly perched on his lips as if he were completely perplexed by some insoluble problem. Then, Southgate's assistant Steve Holland, seems to whisper into Southgate's ear, perhaps some tactical conundrum that none of us could have figured out.

The greying beard and well groomed appearance seem to symbolise everything that makes Southgate tick. Southgate has an exemplary approach to international coaching, doing his homework thoroughly and researching the background of every player and manager that he faces. But then half way through the second half, Switzerland tore up all of Southgate's best laid plans. A delightful crossfield passing movement found Fabian Schar who laid the ball across the edge of the England six yard box and Breel Embolo came hurtling towards the ball before slipping the ball past England goalkeeper Jordan Pickford for a Switzerland lead they may have deserved on the balance of play.

Now, England were on the back foot, backs firmly against the wall and wondering whether this was the end for the national side when somewhat foolhardy and impartial observers had made them favourites to win Euro 2024. On came the subs. Cole Palmer, Chelsea's finest, Eberechi Eze, Luke Shaw, criminally short of match fitness, flooded onto the pitch rather like rescue teams out at sea. Palmer is exceptionally talented and could be the answer to all of Chelsea's attacking difficulties. Eze looks similarly equipped to turn defenders inside out and an England permanent fixture. But then it happened.

Minutes after the Swiss opening goal, Declan Rice came storming into the Swiss half with a boldness and sense of adventure we know he's capable of providing. Then, the quietly authoritative Kobbie Mainoo of Manchester, still a spring chicken at international level, joined the rest of the England attack. Jude Bellingham, England's golden boy, had almost retreated into his shell and this had become a major source of anxiety for Gareth Southgate. But then Bellingham reminded us all why he now plies his trade at the mighty Real Madrid. The soft shoe shuffles, the gliding motions and the regal elegance he displays when all around him are losing their cool, were now dramatically changing the momentum of the game.

Then Bukayo Saka, the winger par excellence for England, demonstrated so much of his Arsenal form that England would be completely misguided to ignore him. Saka was weaving, bobbing, darting in and out of hapless defenders, consistently deceiving his full back and then fooling the next. He then tormented his opponent with an almost sadistic relish, going one way and then back on himself again and again. When John Stones played the most magnificently weighted pass back to Saka, we knew what Saka had up his sleeve. Picking up the ball on the edge of the penalty area, Saka did what he always does for both England and Arsenal. He took up his favourite position, shifted the ball thrillingly onto his strongest foot and exploded with an unstoppable shot that went like a missile low into the net.

And so the game went to penalties as we suspected it would because now both teams had run out of batteries and then electricity. The moment had gone for both Switzerland and England and both teams reminded you of heavyweight boxers just slugging it out, arms flailing like ropes and finding their feet had now been reduced to jelly. Extra time was never likely to resolve this particular issue so England and Switzerland resorted to the chaotic lottery of penalties. 

All of the penalties were pitch perfect, immaculate exercises in accuracy and ruthless power. But Switzerland missed one of their spot kicks and England converted their spot kicks as if they'd practised them over and over again. Then it was all over. Trent Alexander steered the ball into the net from the penalty spot and we could all dig out our party hats. It was the time to do the conga, release those inhibitions and look forward to Holland in yet another epic semi final in another tournament.

When West Germany ended England's World Cup in 1990, the rebellious Paul Gascoigne spilt a thousand tears and we empathised with the player because for England, we must have thought  Gazza had pushed too many emotional buttons for Sir Bobby's Robson. Then, Gareth Southgate sidled up take the vital penalty that would have ensured a Euro 96 Final against the Czech Repubic. But Southgate missed and England dropped into the wilderness.

Between now and the midweek date with Holland, England will huddle around in deeply reflective  mood. They will look at each other intently, linking arms in a defiant show of camaraderie and then firing themselves up just in case we haven't got it yet. So we can only hope that the pendulum has swung back in favour of Gareth South's technical dug out. Fortune favours the brave, as the old cliche. England know that all of the awkward negativity will not survive another what could prove a most distressing ordeal for them against Holland in the Euro 2024 semi final. We know there's a performance just struggling to get out for England but, to all intents and purposes, England were trying too hard to do the simple things and wondering whether the real Holland will turn up. It's over to you, Gareth Southgate.