Party political conference season- let the arguments begin.
Here in Britain it's the party political conference season shortly and that can only mean one thing. Yes, you've guessed it. It's time for powerful, passionate speeches, plenty of hot air, anger, fury, hundreds of dissenting voices, a hint of anarchy in the air and plenty of secretive discussions behind the scenes. There is bound to be disagreement because a party political conference season wouldn't be the same without good, old fashioned argy bargy, a good deal of personal name calling, gossipy nonsense, spite, childishness and vindictiveness. In fact it could turn into a war of words on quite the most unbearable scale.
Of course this year brings with it all of that emotional fall out from the General Election earlier this year. You know the one. The General Election that Theresa May won but only by default or so it seemed at the time. She lost her majority but still soldiered on regardless. It was the General Election she may have cause to regret in time but the fact remains that the Tories galloped home like a tired thoroughbred who may have taken part in too many races.
Seen in the cold day of light the Conservative Party were only slightly wounded by the General Election if only because Jeremy Corbyn's much vilified Labour party did rather better than any of us could have expected but not enough to form the next Parliament in Britain. So it was that during the summer Theresa May took stock of her position, went for a leisurely walk in Switzerland, pondered for a while and probably came to the conclusion that Swiss chocolate is the best in the world and those cuckoo clocks are just charming.
On arrival back from the summer recess Prime Minister May may well have walked back into Westminster, hurt perhaps and a little chastened by events around her, but genuinely convinced that Brexit is the perfect addition to the Oxford English Dictionary. She will now shuffle through the copious papers on her desk, listen to her advisors, read the papers and discover everything she knew about it in the first place. This politics malarkey can be awfully tiring but hey it has to be preferable to orienteering in the Alps. Seriously, Theresa yours has to be the most unenviable job in the land. Who needs all of that wearisome hassle and aggravation?
Still, when the Tories begin their party political conference perhaps she'll be afforded some quality time and time to reflect on what might have been and what could still happen. She remains a damaged Prime Minister but when she takes her seat at the Tories party conference this could be time to concentrate on the more pressing issues that Britain has now been forced to face whether she likes it or not. May now has some vitally important work to do on the more knotty ramifications of Brexit. If I've heard that word once I must have heard it a million times.
But the fact remains that the Prime Minister has to tackle a whole portfolio of complicated looking documents, endless reams of papers and more papers on the one subject she may eventually come to hate. At the heart of it all is one of the most contentious political subjects in recent times. In fact the air is so poisonous that there are high ranking EU members who would love to kick Britain out of the European Union without so much as a backward glance.
Still this is the party political conference season, a time for considered judgements, rousing speeches from honourable politicians - or as some would have you believe- dishonourable politicians who are not so much corrupt but barely believable. They will stare out at their adoring party members, take frequent sips of water, address the hall with the most marvellous piece of studied, points scoring oratory and then speak for England on any subject which has its central feature blame, accusation, more condemnation about nothing in particular and a large slice of boasting, bleating and blathering.
Years ago the party political conference season used to be based at some of England's most bracing seaside resorts. During the 1950s it used to be Margate and then the others seemed to join in just for fun of it. There was Brighton, Blackpool and Bournemouth for both the Tories, Labour Party and then the Liberals as they were then known. They all took it in turns to hold their conference at all of the above locations. Now though all three parties now seem to pick any English provincial business centre or pop concert venue that will happily take them.
Long gone are the days when BBC political correspondents would stand shivering by a Blackpool promenade with the distant illuminations providing the most magnificent backdrop. In the distance the fairground lights could be spotted winking and blinking away while John Sergeant or John Cole bravely battled the blustery winds with a dutiful devotion to duty. Inside those halls of political pontificating there was an entirely different kind of electricity where carefully prepared speeches induced ear splitting and raucous applause from those formidable loyalists.
You're reminded of one of Margaret Thatcher's first conference speeches shortly after wrapping up the 1979 General Election. She came to the microphone and launched into the kind of impassioned language that must have shaken every wall in the conference hall. For what seemed the best part of a compelling hour or so Thatcher would never ever be questioned or contradicted nor would she ever give up in her quest for world domination. She stood her ground stubbornly, maintained firmly that any prospect of chronic unemployment would never take place under her leadership and generally created a huge shift in opinion wherever she went.
We all knew that she was never one for turning because if she did she must have known that the consequences would not to be her liking. Thatcher, of course said no repeatedly in the House of Commons if only for political emphasis. In that by now famous all blue uniform Margaret Thatcher took the whole concept of healthy debate to a completely different level. But even she must have been aware of the piercing stares from the likes of Cecil Parkinson, Norman Tebbit, Geoffrey Howe and Michael Heseltine. Then again they may have been monitoring her every move in case she fluffed her lines.
The fact is that all party political conferences provide most of Westminster's finest with a perfect opportunity to air their grievances, serious soundbites, posh platitudes and the kind of controversial comments that frequently succeed in dividing their party, if only briefly. The whole conference season normally lasts a week but does seem to go on for ever. You begin to wonder if most of the party members actually camp out overnight in the hall if only to ensure a good seat at the front in the morning.
Anyway the nation awaits the Tories, Labour, the courageous Liberal Democrats and any political party that fancies its chances. In the next couple of weeks, the reception areas, lobbies and small meeting rooms will be buzzing with lively banter, cheerful gallows humour, intensive conversations about who knows what and all manner of trivia. Sometimes the impression is that this is a politicians favourite time of the year because this is the one time when they can get everything off their chest.
For the rest of the year, The House of Commons and Westminster becomes a veritable lion's den where reputations are savaged, forthright opinions are fervently expressed and Denis Skinner tells a million jokes. The Trades Union Congress has already had its custard pie confrontations and general flim flam flummery but then the beer and sandwiches brigade always did like their the verbal exchanges. A personal memory was one of a blustering Len Murray calling his troops to order and lecturing his colleagues on whatever the topic of the day might have been.
Essentially the party political conference season is a huge debating chamber where the members of Parliament play Punch and Judy, try desperately to drag their opponents through the mud and behave with a singular lack of decorum. Occasionally it all gets so heated that you begin to wonder why any kind of conference is necessary particularly when it invariably gets completely out of hand.
Still the blue of the Conservatives, the red of Labour and the yellow of the Lib Dems will be descending in their droves just waiting for the moment to cheer loudly, boo senselessly and then just heckle as and when appropriate. It is democracy at its liveliest but so utterly lacking is Conference season in any discipline that you begin to wonder what all the fuss is about.
Britain has had one of its more tempestuous of years and it seems certain that when British politicians do gather at their respective Conferences the talk will inevitably turn to both tragedy and disaster. The terrorist attacks on both the cities of London and Manchester have so scarred the nation that it may be some time before a full, psychological and emotional recovery can be achieved. When the deeply shocking and heartbreaking Grenfell Tower fire so stunned us, it seemed that the whole notion of a party political conference had now become a total irrelevance.
But the season is upon us and for those who believe that very few politicians speak any sense whatsoever a political conference is probably the last thing on your mind. Theresa May, the Tory Prime Minister will, quite obviously sing the praises of her Government, Jeremy Corbyn will deludedly believe that he could do the job with his eyes closed and Vince Cable. Well, Vince Cable is sadly just Vince Cable the leader of the Lib Dems who seems destined to live on the margins of politics.
Yes folks you've guessed it folks. Its the political bunfight of the year, the gathering of the great, good and simply mediocre. The Tories will be at pains to point out that unemployment is now at its lowest and Jeremy Corbyn will tell us that although Britain may be working again it's still up to its eyes in poverty and unrest. The narrative is still Brexit dominated and the feelings are running extraordinarily high. Some EU officials are fuming, the lines of communication blurred perhaps but any resemblance to a very bad TV sitcom may be purely coincidental.
For any followers of the great speech making event of the year here are a few buzzwords and phrases that may be mentioned repeatedly. Listen out for collective bargaining, the art of negotiation, sitting around tables with union bosses and talking with our comrades, brothers and sisters. Pay and money will become an all consuming subject and it could turn very nasty. Still commonsense may well prevail and our perceptions will dramatically change. Once the Labour party wave the red flag and the Tories give us lessons on morality then we'll all know the Conference season is well and truly upon us. I have no particular political allegiance so this is my time to be neutral. May the best political party say all the right things.
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