Boris Johnson- the Tory politician who would be Prime Minister?

Boris Johnson- the Tory politician who would be Prime Minister?

Winston Churchill would probably be turning in his grave if he knew. These are interesting times in the weird and wacky world of British politics and now that the summer recess is upon us it is hard to believe that anything could possibly happen while the mice play. But there's something decidedly shifty and underhand going on in our midst. One man refuses to keep quiet and there must be a part of him that believes that he had every right to state his case without fear of contradiction.

The man in question is Boris Johnson and if there's any justice Johnson should be sacked on the spot, rapped over the knuckles, severely reprimanded, left with a flea in his ear and docked several months of his wages for violating every rule in the political handbook. Because poor old Boris has done it again. He's put his foot in it, upsetting the apple cart, alienating half of the Muslim community and today offering his verdict on affordable housing. You really couldn't make it up.

But hold on. This may be to form a more sober assessment of Boris Johnson, formerly Foreign Secretary, formerly Mayor of London and all round good egghead. Essentially, our Boris has done very little that might be considered either libellous, slanderous, damaging or physically destructive. He hasn't attacked anybody nor has he said anything could rightly be described as outrageously insulting.

The fact is though that Johnson is committed the ultimate sin. Last week while the rest of the country bathed in the most stunning heatwave of recent years, the Old Etonian with a penchant for quirky Latin phrases and a partiality for bikes and zip wires, trod on the most explosive political grenade he'll ever tread on. For a few, fleeting moments it sounded almost harmlessly comical and amusing but then the sudden realisation hit him that he'd said something he perhaps might have regretted under different circumstances.

You see the truth is that Boris Johnson is hugely intelligent, vastly knowledgeable and impeccably educated but tact and diplomacy may not be his strongest point. Boris has a wonderful command of several languages and has also written a biography of Winston Churchill, a huge tome of superbly researched detail and undoubtedly excellent prose. But when Boris decides to engage in the most sensitive and potentially combustible of subjects the wires are crossed or somebody gets hurt.

For a number of years Boris Johnson has been one of the most eloquent of advocates of Brexit, an issue so horribly confusing and contentious that even Boris may have felt he'd lost the popular vote for a while. Johnson told us quite clearly that once Britain came out of the EU or the European Union we'd all feel much better about ourselves and the whole process of globalisation which Britain should become an integral part of, would soothe our fevered brows and the world would be our oyster.

Boris told us quite categorically that those wretched scoundrels in Brussels were making our lives a misery and as such those high ranking officials in European circles should leave us alone and stop interfering all the time. How dare the EU keep pontificating about all those nasty rules, laws and regulations that are much more of a hindrance to Britain than any other consideration.

There did come a point when for all his alleged buffoonery and eccentricity, Boris Johnson did actually seem to make some kind of sense. He battled on our front, spoke for the nation and hinted at something akin to political excellence at times. And then when it all looked as if the blond haired one had settled for a back seat in the House of Commons, the Johnson mouth accelerated out of control. Oh dear. Or had it?

In what must have seemed like one of those off the record moments when none could have heard any of his impassioned rhetoric, Johnson expressed one of those statements that were, to not put too fine a point on it, daft and ill advised. In retrospect they were the measured views of another politician a number of years ago.  So here was history quite definitely repeating itself and just another classic case of double speak.

Many years ago Labour cabinet minister at the time Jack Straw went on record as saying that he found the burka completely covering the face of Muslim women was extremely intimidating and ever so unsettling and offensive. Straw maintained that whenever a woman in a burka came into his surgery or greeted him on the street the fact that he could neither see their face or talk to him properly was both problematic and troublesome.

And so it was that Boris Johnson aired the same objection and inevitably the whole of the country reacted either furiously and in wholehearted support of the Johnson mantra. Although fully defending the right of Muslim woman to wear their chosen dress, Johnson then went on to plunge his hand into the most unseemly bucket of muddied waters. We were not unduly surprised because this is the Johnson way when the public glare isn't quite fully on him personally.

After quitting as Foreign Secretary recently some of us felt that he'd go and hide in a corner and lick his bloodied wounds. This whole EU business wasn't going according to his plan and Boris threw all of his toys out of the pram. All of those stuffy, red tape complexities that were now stifling Prime Minister Theresa May. were now, quite simply, getting on Johnson's nerves. Enough was enough.

Then he made his latest and most peculiar announcement. Muslim women, in Johnson's estimation reminded you of letter boxes or bank robbers. Now in the general scheme of things it does sound like one of those joky and facetious comments you would normally make at a dinner party having consumed one or too many bottles of Chateau Marks and Spencer red wine. But for Boris Johnson this was just an innocent observation and comparison that would blow away and never be commented on again.

But oh no how misguided was the Old Etonian with the permanently ruffled blond hair and the supercilious air of a learned professor. He'd completely misjudged the mood of the nation although there were some who agreed with him and couldn't see what all the fuss was about. Even now there are some Tory ministers who really don't know whether to cry or laugh about one of their colleagues.

Yesterday Johnson, on a gentle and inoffensive Sunday morning, he welcomed the Press into his garden with cups of tea, bonny chit  chat and buoyant bonhomie. Now what exactly was he being accused of here? Had he done something seriously wrong or perhaps the country had lost its sense of humour? It was hard to know why we were all getting all hot and bothered about something that should have been forgotten about as soon as it left Boris's mouth.

Still the damage looks as though it might have been done without any legal recourse or far reaching repercussions. Was Johnson just echoing the sentiments of the nation or was he just joshing about, trying desperately to make small talk when we knew and he must have known that this was perhaps a knee jerk comment that could have been kept in house rather than let out in the public domain?

The hardened cynics may well tell you that this could be a cunning, calculated plot on Boris's part to bring down Theresa May and plant himself cosily into that nice hot seat as Prime Minister of Britain. 10 Downing Street must have a very prestigious ring to it and besides this might have been the only reason Johnson entered politics. Surely a case of an ultra ambitious politician scrapping and struggling his way to the top job in the country. What could be simpler?

So as the dust settles and the country continues to play this preposterous game of Musical Chairs, Boris Johnson sits in a private corner of his London home, wondering and thinking, reflecting but still unapologetic. Even though he might be privately regretful about his unfortunately phrased remark, the fact is that some of his closest friends may tell him to hold back on matters of public interest and of course religious sensitivities.

However Johnson has succeeded in conjuring up some wondrous imagery with his similes and parallels. It all began at the end of the Beijing Olympic Games when our Boris told us that he was looking forward immensely to games of whiff waff or what to the rest of us is table tennis.

Now though we are left with the tricky image of Muslim women resembling those red letter boxes that used to populate every street corner or road. Or maybe he was referring to our very own letter boxes where whole rainforests of paper drop casually through that small opening on our front door? Quite how letter boxes can even be remotely said to  look like a Muslim woman with a loose black dress and two slits through which to look at the wider world is quite possibly beyond anybody's understanding.

And so we had the reference to bank robbers which you suspect would have mortally offended any such criminal with a balaclava over their head. It is hard to figure out both Johnson's logic or reasoning but to some extent Boris may have something there. It just seemed that this was the wrong time and the wrong place for frothy, off the cuff remarks that should have merited no attention at all.

The fact is that Boris may have to concentrate all of his attentions on keeping out of the public eye,  because although he may well be well intentioned, he might become in the goodness of time the figure of fun that was quite clearly not the plan of action.

But as we reach the middle of August and autumn begins to creep up on us inexorably, the blond haired, right honourable gentleman who represents the interests of Uxbridge and South Ruislip may be quietly flicking through the aforesaid book on Churchill and recalling some of his controversial pronouncements.

It is highly unlikely that Boris Johnson has ever fought anybody on any beach or landing ground but he has now left himself marooned in the hottest water. You suspect that shortly Johnson will take himself off to some isolated sun spot away from the noise and pandemonium of  Westminster. He will sit down on his wicker or rattan chair or stare out at a glistening blue sea and think of letter boxes or armed robbers. To quote another government anthem from yesteryear things can only get better. Keep calm Boris.