Boris Johnson - the new Prime Minister - believe it or not.

Boris Johnson- the new Prime Minister - believe it or not.

Oh what a day! Oh what a momentous day! We can hardly believe it. Who would have thought it possible? Please wake us up. It isn't happening. And yet it has. The blond bombshell, Eton educated, foppish, scruffy, unkempt one is the new Prime Minister of England, the Home Counties and every point of the compass north of Hadrian's Wall. The man we were convinced would top the bill at either the London Palladium or the Comedy Club in the heart of London is the man entrusted with the onerous responsibility of taking charge of the country.  Surely we're dreaming this. But we're not.

Boris Johnson, formerly mayor of London, then Foreign Secretary for a while, will wake up tomorrow and will probably think he's just stepped into a veritable Alice in Wonderland scenario. Only this time the Mad Hatter has probably sipped his tea, run as far as he can get and just vanished without trace. Boris Johnson is indeed the new Prime Minister.

 The phrase has the most surreal and strange sound to it. Still, it could have been a whole lot worse. The Guinness drinking, cigar puffing and man of the people Nigel Farage comes immediately to mind. But then it has been a long, hot day and we must stop our minds from wandering. Facts and fiction are beginning to get in our way. The fact is that the man who once made a complete fool of himself on a London zip wire suspended high above London with nothing but a pair of Union Jacks for company will walk into 10 Downing Street wondering what on earth has hit him.

There will be the dawning realisation that utter tomfoolery, ridiculous buffoonery and complete absurdity have all taken up residence in a Britain that now finds itself accountable to a man who once referred to the noble game of table tennis as wiff waff. Here is a man who recently made the bizarre statement that if Britain doesn't leave the EU, the nation may have to get used to a diet of drinking water and Mars bars. Here is a man who once threw himself forcefully into rugby tackling a a poor youngster in a brazen publicity stunt.

So this is what it's all come down to. Like a child pestering his parents for a new train set or a pampered, privileged, upper class teenager who's just been promised a Lamborghini once he passes his driving test, Boris Johnson has finally got the job he's always wanted. He's been waiting patiently for this moment ever since the day when the now former Prime Minister Theresa May finally resigned because none of those stuffy, paternalistic men in Brussels would ever listen to her.

Yes, good old Boris, member of Uxbridge, has finally landed the job he'd been craving and hankering after for ages, scheming, conniving and schmoozing for as long as any of us can remember. He's turned breathing down the neck into an art form, cunning and subterfuge into a way of political life and that little known sport known as cheap opportunism into the funniest of side shows.

Ladies and Gentlemen you hardly need telling that Boris Johnson has carefully judged the mood of the nation, brilliantly pulled the wool over the nation's eyes and then just sniggered his way into 10 Downing Street rather like one of those mischievous sixth form rebels who insist on putting whoopee cushions under the headmaster's chair or letting off stink bombs while nobody is watching.

Tomorrow the whole of Britain may well wake up in a bewildered trance, heads spinning and pretending that it hasn't dropped onto the set of a new TV sitcom or some mad, wacky soap opera where pubs are set on fire and neighbours engage in salacious gossip. Boris Johnson will be leading from the front, safeguarding Britain's future, guaranteeing us more jobs than ever before, saving the NHS heroically from both oblivion and disintegration while all the time concentrating on those key social issues such as housing, education and last but not least Brexit on Halloween.

This is it folks. Our Boris will come to our rescue and how we've needed a firefighter like Boris Johnson. You see the problem is that our departure from the European Union has become such a tedious news story that some of us are beginning to wish that another former Prime Minister David Cameron had left the country for good. It's your fault Mr Cameron and you can't deny it. Still, we suspect that somewhere in the middle of the Caribbean or wherever he is these days, Cameron may well be pouring himself a neat brandy, privately congratulating his Eton peer and friend.

Anyway the truth is - and it may be a difficult truth to stomach for some  of us- that Boris Johnson, the man who loves to entertain the nation with cheesy one liners, hilarious Latin jokes and a classic line on Churchillian pearls of wisdom, will brush back that forest of blond hair, stride out towards the flashing photographers and eager cameras, straightening the blue tie, smiling that smile of smug self satisfaction and then delivering his first speech as the new Prime Minister.

These are iconic, historic and critical moments in the history of British politics. If he gets it completely wrong and messes up big time then Boris Johnson is destined to end up on the political scrap heap. On the other hand if he does get it right and we are no longer associated with those Brussels mandarins then the country may well hail him as the greatest Prime Minister of all time.

What does become clear is that Boris Johnson is of course hugely intelligent, enormously eloquent and supremely confident. He may think he has the finger on the pulse of the nation but will he in the process press down too hard? With most of the people he thought he could count on now abandoning ship, Boris may have some difficulty in changing minds and winning hearts. This may be a long, uphill climb out of the ditch the Tories may have fallen into. So seize the day Boris because this may be the most challenging journey you've ever been on. Keep calm Mr Johnson because happy days may still lie ahead. There's only one Boris Johnson.