The David Cameron and Boris Johnson show.

The David Cameron and Boris Johnson show.

When will it ever end? Day after day the ears of Britain are being bled profusely by that constant drivel, that incessant gobbledygook, this mindless rhetoric. The nation, you feel sure, has lost patience and if they're not careful we may be tempted to turn off our collective TVs, radios and just stop reading our newspapers. It is soul destroying and horribly grotesque. Maybe we'll be given a welcome reprieve or respite from this abominable mess, this nightmarish confusion, the endless prattle. Perhaps Brexit will finally disappear from our view never to come back at any time. We must hope that it will one day.

So who are we to blame for this awful fiasco, this barrage of grammatical distortion, these unbearable sound bites? What on earth have we done to deserve three years of poppycock, repetitive platitudes, the same old thing over and over again? The earnest statements have flooded out of Cabinet ministers mouths like the most torrential waterfall, raging and turbulent, a painful sounding back track to our lives. But how much longer can we take of this all? Our tolerance threshold can only take so much.

Meanwhile, back at 10 Downing Street the chief protagonists of this whole charade are gnashing their teeth, desperate for the 31st October to arrive and wishing that none of this had ever happened. Some of us are privately wishing that a coven of Halloween witches would whisk them off to some far off land on their broomsticks. This is beginning to feel like Chinese water torture. Two men though may have a lot to answer for.

The truth is that the fault may not lie with Boris Johnson, our current Prime Minister but a certain David Cameron. This morning Cameron is facing the music, being made to pay for his mistakes, called to account and blasted by critics who believe that he was single handedly responsible for this classic blunder in the first place.

When David Cameron left 10 Downing Street, the world and its family must have thought that the immediate fall out from the withdrawal from the EU would be rather less damaging than we thought it would. Cameron seriously misjudged the mood of the nation, humiliated on his own doorstep and left to pick up the trail of broken promises. Oh if only he hadn't made that announcement. Things would have been so much simpler and we'd have all been allowed to get back to the every day business of everyday life; the urgent issues of a long suffering NHS; the vital education system; dilapidated council estates; the housing crisis; the distressing knife crime rate in inner city London and the dwindling number of policemen and women on the streets of Britain.

But oh no. Brexit is the dominant topic for the rest of our lives. It has to be because there's nothing else to talk about. David Cameron was the one who called for this wretched referendum, Cameron was the one who created this bizarre double speak, this totally incoherent language, those buzz words and phrases that would appear to have no relevance to anything and anybody at all.

 And yet the impression you get is that Cameron has had the last laugh. Thank goodness control is now firmly out of his hands. He doesn't care anymore and besides he didn't particularly want a referendum in the first place. He'd have been more than content with a gentle retirement in the sun, pina colada by the pool, feet up and nothing to worry about anymore.

You can almost picture the scene now. That other Eton educated Prime Minister David Cameron, now completely forgotten about by the great British public, has suddenly come out of hiding and put his head firmly on the parapet again. David Cameron is in apologetic mood and sorry for misleading the great British public. Of course he was convinced that Britain would have cold feet about coming out of the EU. Of course he had the finger on the pulse of the nation and of course he could read their minds. On the day  he got it wrong though there was a sheepish admission of guilt. It was then the great British public turned on Cameron viciously.

For the following days, months and years the subject of Brexit has now turned into the British version of War and Peace, an epic and absorbing period drama that keeps going on and on without coming up for air. There have been bloody battles, feuding armies on the march followed by retreat and seething arguments about seemingly nothing in particular. There have been roaring voices, combustible tempers and  TV audiences who would quite happily have stormed the barricades about something they know very little about and would like to be given chapter and verse on. The public have been appallingly misinformed and that's just unacceptable.

This is the point when David Cameron came back in and Boris Johnson finds himself in the thankless position of clearing up the debris Cameron has left behind. Believe it or not Cameron has written a book about his hardships and tearful privations. Yes folks, a former Prime Minister has come out with full details of why he went to the country about the future of Britain's involvement in the European Union.  He had to get it off his chest because if he doesn't then all that bottled up tension would simply explode and we couldn't allow that to happen

Sadly though, Britain still finds itself at another critical point, a genuine game of Poker or Pontoon. Do they stick or twist? It has now been reported that the former students who once indulged their former alumni Boris Johnson have allegedly got their own back on Johnson. They are boiling with anger, livid and red faced with unbridled fury. They've ripped off Johnson's portraits from the wall, quite possibly smeared graffiti all over those academic corridors at Eton and then spilled out whole hearted disgust at the man's absolute incompetence.

These are immensely troubling times in Westminster's fiery bear pit. There are more and more no deals and deals, insufferable delays, long evenings that turn quite naturally into long nights, Tory politicians stomping vehemently through the House of Commons tea bars and terraces, secretive committee rooms where much paper is shuffled and sighs of impatience which can be heard as far afield as Dublin. Then there is the puffing of cheeks as the realisation dawns that this could all be a waste of time.

Finally, there are those lovely backstops and none of us could have got through another day without being given further information on what exactly a backstop is. Of course it's the insurance policy which has been clearly explained to us. It's that protection clause needed by the good people of Ireland if Brexit becomes a failed and useless piece of documentation. Are we any the wiser? Perhaps not.

So there it is folks. The British parliament has closed down for business yet again, Denis Skinner is walking around Westminster like a bear with a sore head, the Speaker of the House John Bercow has quite literally left the building and many of us are still in the dark. It's time for some proroguing and going back into a huddle. What about a General Election just to complicate matters or perhaps we should give Jeremy Corbyn a mop, bucket and broom. That's it. Let's make him a caretaker Prime Minister. Now that's a great idea. The silly season may well be over but at this rate Brexit could challenge Coronation Street for longevity. We could be here for quite a while.