Snow and ice on the way or maybe not.

Snow and ice on the way or maybe not.

At some point during the winter we knew it would happen eventually. Or perhaps we were hoping that it wouldn't happen and all the rumours were totally untrue. Here in Britain very little in the way of preparations or contingency plans have been made. We've just got to hope that when the said event does take place it won't bring the whole country to a complete standstill.

Now according to those at the British weather centre tomorrow it'll snow all day or possibly rain at the same time which could cause inevitable chaos, disruption and no small amount of inconvenience to those who may have to catch the early bus or train to work, college, school or university. It is at times like this when you begin to wonder how we coped in the Victorian or Edwardian era when the sight of horse and cart or barouche would lift the spirits before ploughing through thick layers of snow, a time when life was much slower and there weren't as many leaves on any railway line.

Still, we'll all get up tomorrow morning, look out of our windows and sigh with varying degrees of pleasure or even anguish and pretend that all is well in the world. We'll marvel at the pretty picturesqueness of it all, turn over the duvet and blankets and think about going straight back to sleep. Surely not the snow again. It shouldn't really snow in Britain because the snow is far more synonymous with the Alps and countries such as Switzerland, France, Austria and Italy. But then we realise that of course it snows in Britain but only in isolated spells when most of us aren't ready for it.

Across the land the nation will pull on its traditional layers of thick pullovers, natty scarves, heartwarming coats and just get on with the business of everyday living. We'll scrape off the mini mountains of snow that have collected on our car windscreens, chop off lumps of the white stuff that may have accumulated on our bike handlebars and then trudge our way along the road for the day's workaday responsibilities.

And then it'll hit us with a shivering realisation. The complexities of the morning will unravel rather like the most idyllic picture we're ever likely to see. How long will it take us to get to work? Will the bosses be suitably sympathetic or how on earth are we going to get home and how long will that arduous journey take? Snow tends to bring with it all manner of logistical problems before we've even had time to brush our teeth in the morning.

The truth is of course that snow in Britain invariably catches us off our guard and most of us simply don't know what to do when it falls with a vengeance. This time we've been warned in advance although this always seems to be the case anyway. We'll stumble out of our homes, toast in hand and car keys in the other, hoping against hope that we've got this one under control. Then we'll tread very gingerly in case we slip over and then there are the roads and streets to think of.

Now this is the point when our day begins to resembles a military operation. Either by car or bus travelling becomes a major obstacle. Suddenly the morning turns into some very tiresome army exercise where all of us have to wait for hour upon hour in whatever your chosen method of transport. This is probably the moment when we either lose patience with the heavy traffic in front of us or we simply close our eyes and long for the nightmare to end. There's no other description for it. We're stuck.

By some ridiculously late hour we eventually turn up for work, school, college or university, seething and cursing, steam pouring from our collective ears when some smart alec comes out with what can only be described as the sarcastic remarks you must have heard a million times. Don't tell me. You're late because of the snow. What a telling observation on their part. Tell us something we didn't already know.

In recent winters Britain seems to have got off lightly with the snow so to speak. Last winter the country had to cope with unusual amounts of sleet and occasional bouts of snow which seemed to melt on the ground immediately after a night of heavy rain. There were no storms as such certainly not the kind with names of men or women to trouble us. But the cold snap did bite on more than one occasion which necessitated gloves at all times in case our fingers developed frost bite.

Regrettably though tonight could be one of the coldest this winter since the Ice Age. Seriously though you'll have to tell your children to get out the toboggans or tea trays because tomorrow kids you'll be sliding to school in tons of snow. Tomorrow folks it'll officially be considered as sleigh day. Then the thought may occur to us that your school may have to close tomorrow because the central heating isn't working, the pipes are blocked and the kids may have to cultivate new friendships on either Facebook or Twitter.

But then again we could always just stay at home, working from home, playing umpteen games of Monopoly or catching up on our extensive in boxes of e-mails from companies you've never heard of and never hope to hear of again. Outside though you could be forgiven for thinking that it was Christmas when quite clearly it isn't. The roads will become veritable carpets of snow, the pavements mini ice rinks and the milkman or woman simply indistinguishable. How often though have we been proven wrong?

And so tomorrow morning will arrive bright and early, the rooftops of houses quaintly decorated with wondrous ridges of white snow, gleeful children screaming with joy and then millions of young gloves proceeding to chuck snowballs at each other as has been the case for almost as long as some of us can remember. Then the predictable snowman with a carrot for a nose and sultanas for eyes will appear before our eyes and we'll all greet the snow with that wide eyed delight that we've always reserved for snow even though some of us may think otherwise. It may be winter outside but in my heart it's spring. Now that would make a great song.