Baggy Trousers

Baggy Trousers

And now once again for something entirely wacky, something completely different and something designed to lift the blues in these troubled and worrying times. It'll make you laugh, chuckle, question my sanity quite frankly or just restore your faith in human nature. I hope it will. So here goes.

Nine years I completed my first and what I now realise was my first venture into the fiercely competitive world of publishing, writing books and literature. The book was called Victorian Madness Lyrics, a bonkers and totally incomprehensible homage to the brilliant British ska band from the 1970s and the 1980s. It is, quite certainly nonsensical but may I just add that this was a deliberate attempt to translate a huge part of Madness's back catalogue. No words were hurt in the act of producing this book. In fact Victorian Madness Lyrics is a festival of words, a grammatical carnival of posh metaphors and ridiculously quirky phrases that I hope will bring a smile to your faces.

If you like this brief snapshot and one of Madness's songs in an introductory way. Victorian Madness Lyrics is not a parody of the Victorian era as such. In fact this was never the intention in the first place. So sit back, enjoy your tea and biscuits and have a laugh. I hope you'll like it. Be prepared for a word fest the like of which you may never find in any other book.

Oh yes if you like the book Victorian Madness Lyrics it's available at either Foyles online, Waterstones online or Barnes and Noble online. Here goes for Baggy Trousers aka Ill Fitting Pantaloons.

Ill fitting pantaloons

Miscreant young males in malicious
groves of academia
Leading administrator of groves of
academia in violation of the
directives

Indulging in frivolity and
masquerading as poltroons

The entire set of tutors in the tavern
Discriminating the available eraser
Attempting to ponder when
The mid-day nourishment ringing
mechanism will resound on yet
another occasion

Goodness me what frivolity we
engaged in
But it did genuinely develop into a
complete fiasco

Everything I absorbed at the said
groves of academia
Was how to flex and not to violate
the directive
Goodness what frivolity we engaged in

But on the specific occasion it
appeared to be so malicious
Attempting diverse methods to
effect a revolution

The leading administrator of the
groves of academia had tolerated a
sufficient amount on this diurnal
period

The entire contingent of juveniles
have made their departure
Left the premises to engage in
skirmishes with the adjacent groves
of academia.

Striking Penny Farthings following
the nocturnal hours
Ill fitting pantaloons squalid
chemises

Tugging at the tonsure and
consuming squalid substances
Tutor arrives to achieve an
intervention
At the rear of the cranium with an
artificial container.

And so there ends a tantalising glimpse of Baggy Trousers - aka Ill Fitting Pantaloons. You'll also find the House of Fun- aka The Establishment of Amusement and Our House- One's Abode. If you're in the mood for a giggle, chortle or chuckle then Victorian Madness Lyrics is definitely the book for you. Thanks Suggs and the Madness lads.