Here we go again- it's the party political conference season.

 Here we go again. It's the party political conference season again. 

Just when you thought it may have slipped your mind the party political conference season has now been foisted upon us once again whether we want it to happen or not. It's rather like the proverbial bad penny that keeps turning up at the beginning of autumn when all you want to do is sip a relaxing glass of cider in your garden, dig up a few Sunday morning weeds, pick up some tomatoes from your allotment before setting the lawnmower on the grass. Now though the peace will be disturbed and from a British digital style, Covid 19 Zoom location near you, our so-called esteemed politicians will be bleeding our ears against our will. 

To think we've come thus far and we could well have done without all of that raucous heckling, that paint blistering noise, the childish name-calling, the nasty, derogatory comments, Punch and Judy bickering and quarrelling with each other and then more confrontations by the bar. It's enough to drive you to excessive amounts of alcohol but we'll try to resist that particular temptation. Suffice it to say that only a huge gathering of all the mainstream British political party delegates could get away with a complete lack of social distancing. What on earth has the world come to? Only politicians could break every rule in the book. But hold on they won't be assembling in their vast droves because a global pandemic has put paid to that little scheme of theirs. 

From every corner of the British isles and perhaps beyond, the Labour party are gathering forces in readiness for yet another round of shouting and bellowing and finger-pointing. As we all know by now nothing gets a politician more worked up and excited than a good, old fashioned bunfight. They love to massage their egos, argue endlessly about nothing of any real consequence and just behave like vainglorious prima donnas who may think of themselves as frustrated stand-up comedians. The truth is though that none of them would pass any audition and it may be best to invest in some cotton wool over your ears for the next couple of days or so. 

The Labour party, the party that wallows in Socialism, Marxism and fond memories of both Tony Blair and Harold Wilson will head for a week of challenging, questioning and battling the Tory party for all its worth. The Labour party of course have historically found common ground with the proletariat working class, a party that the postman, milkman, dustman and the builder can readily identify with. This may be true or not but when the Labour party get together for a sing-song and keeping the red flag flying you can be sure there will be fun and games. 

Over the years the Labour party have always cosied up quite brazenly with the trade unions, Morning Star activists and way back when Arthur Scargill was a wee lad in shorts. They represent the authentic voice, a voice unsullied by posh Tory toffs such as Jacob Rees Mogg, that celebrated know all and polymath who behaved appallingly when asked to sit up straight while the House of Commons were in the throes of tormenting itself over Brexit. 

Mogg of course was the one who loves to find fault with English colloquialisms, gets very pernickety about certain buzz words and then convinces himself that we should all have high tea at the appointed time and that children should be both heard and seen. Mogg of course speaks with that proverbial hot potato in his mouth, always insisting on the grammatical niceties before just falling asleep when a matter of urgent note is discussed.

For the Labour party the shock of losing another General Election before Christmas may still be rankling with them. When Jeremy Corbyn shamefacedly trooped into Islington Town Hall at some uneartly hour of the morning you knew that the end was in sight for both Corbyn and the Labour party. For a man who pins his colours to despicable antisemitism, racism and any other contentious issue, Corbyn represented the poisonous voice of modern-day politics. Or so we were told although we have no reason to disbelieve as such.  

But the days of the nationalisation of British Rail are now long gone and the future is seemingly not red. Long gone too are those years when Harold Wilson correctly predicted the White Heat of Technology and then told us about his intention to create the Open University in Britain. So too are the Labour shindigs where beer and sandwiches were the main meal of the day and everybody went into a private huddle to talk about bills being pushed through the Labour rank and file. Then there were agreements and disagreements about things that had no relevance at all since the Labour party were not in Government. 

Still, here we are in 2020 and the new Labour party leader is Sir Keir Starmer, a skilled and very accomplished orator, a man who, unlike his predecessor, knows exactly what he's talking about. Starmer could prove to be the stuff of nightmares for Prime Minister Boris Johnson because finally he will be confronting a man who can provide credible opposition for the Tories. 

This is a pivotal moment in the history of the Labour party in as much that Labour have been out of office for so long that they may have forgotten what it's like to come out of 10 Downing Street and hold court with the assembled Press. The days of in-fighting and trying desperately hard to get rid of Corbyn are now in the past but the scars and injuries are festering quite disturbingly. 

Ever since Tony Blair got involved with the Iraq war the Labour party have been wrestling with a tarnished image. When Blair left 10 Downing Street for the last time and Gordon Brown stepped into to replace Blair it felt as if the fairy tale romance was over for Labour. Blair had been a very capable and influential figure with his finger on the pulse at all times. Blair also had charisma, white shiny teeth, loads of personality and a wife Cherie whose father used to be part of Alf Garnett's family in the hit TV sitcom Till Death Do Us Apart.

Then though Gordon Brown took over the reins as Prime Minister and brought a steady calm to proceedings, a man passionately concerned about the parlous state of the British economy and its finances. In fact Brown was so worried about the country's Budgetary position that he told the whole of the United Kingdom to stop spending so exorbitantly and that if it stopped living beyond its means he'd have to ask prudence to take over the running of the country. We kept spending and spending and couldn't see why the country was about to collapse on the Stock Market. We'd run out of money and this had to be halted. 

When Brown walked out of 10 Downing Street it was all over bar the shouting for Labour. By now the Tories under the much maligned David Cameron were just about to start afresh, a party now resurrected from the ashes of past election setbacks but now fighting fit. Then Cameron plodded his way into his new job as Prime Minister before tripping up accidentally over the monstrous issue that would become Brexit. Tripping though would hardly do justice to what happened to Cameron because quite literally the man trod on a landmine. 

Then there was the gruesome spectacle of Britain's second female Prime Minister Theresa May. History will not look too kindly on Theresa May since she was the one who had to clear the wreckage in the aftermath of the Brexit punch up. May always reminded you of one of those Women's Institute members who so happily take part in coffee mornings with a nice piece of cake. But there was a harder, tougher and feistier side to Mrs May that may only have become apparent when she had to go as Prime Minister. 

Now though we return to the Labour party in all of its Socialist attire, a country that still insists that you call it the party of the people or a party for the people. There are no pompous gadabouts in the Labour party, no gallivanting Hooray Henry's who used to go to Eton and then inherited their parents money. There is nothing cosmetic or artificial about Labour. You get what it says on the tin when you talk to Labour ministers. They don't pull any punches and don't do cliches but they will fight on your behalf. It's straight down the line and none of it is put on or contrived. They're ruthless and uncompromising and they're quite definitely on your side. Make no mistake about that. 

This week though it's all about the Labour party and their quest to re-build and revitalise a political force who not so long were distancing themselves from a man who loved nothing better than eating a full English breakfast in the most embarrassing style. It may be wise to overlook the ridiculous flop who was Ed Miliband but it does seem that Labour are just as divided and fractured when the mood takes them. 

Still as Sir Keir Starmer presides over a Covid 19 friendly political party conference for the first time, this could be the right time to wish Labour well in its pursuit of mutual consensus, unanimity and long overdue cohesion or quite possibly solidarity. Because the fact of the matter is that this week the Labour party has to decide which way they want the party to go. Do they stick or twist? It's as simple as that.

This year there will be no alliances and peace treaties with the trade unions because quite clearly trade and trading came to a full stop back in March. There will be no clinking of champagne glasses or swigging of wine in conference hall reception areas because there will be nobody there and you'll just have to raise your objections on Zoom and those funny looking squares. Oh for those flickering, burning embers of Socialism. Or maybe the revolution has been and gone.