At long last Joe Biden becomes the 46th President of the United States.

 At long last- Joe Biden becomes the 46th President of the United States. 

At long last and not before time. We didn't think it would ever happen and we were beginning to think that somebody had forgotten to make the announcement. Maybe it was just an elaborate hoax, some silly joke that none of us were in from the beginning. But it's true, folks. It can be revealed here and now without any shadow of a doubt that the United States of America have finally elected Joe Biden as their new President. For some of us this maybe the breath of fresh air we were longing to inhale for ages. 

Tonight Joe Biden has finally emerged as victorious, the new man at the helm of the power in the Land of the Free, the man with the fiercely patriotic stars and stripes racing through his blood, the man who replaced quite the most farcical, ridiculous, racist, misogynist President of the United States. Donald Trump is now history, not only a political dinosaur but forever condemned to the walk-on role in any American TV sitcom that may be in the throes in writing.

It hardly seems possible but after much counting, re-counting, making absolutely sure and then calculating for the umpteenth time, America has the President it deserves. Following extensive huffing and puffing, agonising, genuine procrastination and then much volatility in the highest circles of American politics, Joe Biden calmed everybody down, declared the victory and a nation waved goodbye to that famous target for mockery and derision. 

And yet Donald Trump has fired off the first of his legal bullets into the air and looks destined to land up with so much egg on his face that he may have to get used to a daily diet of omelettes for breakfast in the immediate future. For the last couple of days Trump has behaved with all the childish immaturity that we have now come to expect from somebody who not only throws his toys out of his pram but will now spit his dummy across the kitchen floor, demanding several bags of sweets and endless bars of chocolate.  

Since the first day of electioneering last Tuesday, Trump has been sulking, complaining, groaning, blaming, accusing and generally resembling the kid whose pocket money has been snatched from him rudely and then locked in his bedroom, grounded indefinitely until he apologises which he won't be doing. Trump is that spoilt, middle-class man who can never get his way because all of that excessive wealth and celebrity had gone to his head. 

For the last couple of days Trump has been quite literally talking to himself, engaging in banal comments about the unfairness of it all and how everybody else had been blatantly cheating, kicking up a stink, tarnishing the precious American political system with foul, cloak and dagger tactics.Trump believes that the whole of America has been sold short, betrayed by the people he thought he'd come to trust. 

But, in the opinion of Donald Trump America is now the laughing stock of the world, victims of gross mismanagement and now responsible for the kind of people who used to be associated with the Mafia mob culture of America's distant past.  Trump is now convinced that shifty characters armed with guns and violin cases are out to get him. Trump believes that those who were employed to watch the voting patterns in every state were deliberately plotting against him. Trump suspected quite clearly the hidden agenda, sneaky skulduggery, clandestine fiddling of figures and that rank smell of double-dealing and deception. 

Above all Trump thinks that some conspiracy network has been working against him ever since he first came to prominence as a pompous busybody businessman. First Trump built his gaudy hotels, a business empire that may have looked impressive at the time but then, from time to time, became more of a cumbersome liability than anything else. And then he put his name forward to become a prospective American president and that's when we gasped with a sharp intake of scepticism. 

And so it was that four years ago that Trump went eyeball to eyeball with Hilary Clinton and triumphed boastfully over and over again as if he'd just won the Lottery for the third time. Then there followed  four years of showbiz grandstanding, showboating, self-aggrandisement, exercising his fingers and thumbs with strange acts of vulgar exhibitionism. There were veiled threats against the Press he thought were intent on a witch hunt against him, grandiose promises of building walls and then one bombastic statement after another.

But late on Thursday night as Britain laid its collective head down for its nightly nap, Trump started rambling and waffling to himself because it simply seemed as if nobody was listening to him. It sounded as if he was simply talking to himself, a speech and diatribe that sounded so pathetic that if anybody had recorded it for posterity on You Tube may have fancied at least several million views. 

At first we sniggered and chuckled because we couldn't quite believe the evidence of our ears. A psychologist would probably have diagnosed Trump's weasel words as the first signs of a man who had lost the plot completely. There were references to burst pipes in Georgia, fallacious claims that he'd won in Arizona and Florida quite handsomely and then claims that the windows had been boarded up in some American states because the observers at the ballot booth had been scrawling noughts and crosses on the voting paper. This was now bordering on Hollywood vaudeville, Las Vegas cabaret and foolhardiness on the grandest scale. 

Still, Trump went on and on relentlessly, unfortunately and insistently, compiling cases for the defence as if any court in the world would even have given them a single moment's notice. Trump was now lost in his own private fantasy land, playing with notions of victimisation, composing sentences that might have been more appropriate in a teenager's diary. Why doesn't anybody believe him when he tells them that Donald should be the President of the United States for the rest of our lives and that there are sinister forces at work here?

 Trump is now firmly of the belief that the whole of America has been trying metaphorically been trying to stab him in the back ever since he came to office as President four years ago. And yet he has laboured under the delusion that every time he opens his mouth golden nuggets of wisdom and perspicacity have flowed from his lips. Here is the intellectual powerhouse America has been looking for in decades and for the first time in ages America has found a President with a phenomenal IQ. Sadly this was not forthcoming. 

But then he began moving those hands like one of those London buskers with a concertina. He shook hands with leaders of the world with that vigorous handshake that suggested that he may have been tempted to strangle them. He then poured out more and more soundbites, more ill-conceived platitudes and more aggressive sounding banter that quite frankly gave you the impression that he'd borrowed them from some cheap joke book.

Now though Trump has left the building or has he? Of course he'll remind you of that grizzly bear with an extremely sore head. He'll launch another bombardment of sinned against gibberish, insulting invective that nobody will take any notice of and then he'll cry, weep and sob in a dark room because the injustices were always obvious, the stars quite clearly in the wrong position and the figures were all wrong. Why couldn't anybody see that one? 

And yet tonight America may hit the pillow tonight, relieved, even ecstatic and grateful that perhaps a man so apparently tactless, off the record, unashamedly offensive to all and sundry and just insufferably clueless is no longer President. They will be pleased that they can still eat their pancakes for breakfast and eggs sunny side up with a cheerful optimism that might have been thought unlikely. So Joe Biden. This is your time to shine. America can sleep peacefully safe in the knowledge that Trump has played his last card.