Has anybody seen Donald Trump?

 Has anybody seen Donald Trump?

So here we are in the middle of August and nobody can tell us what happened to Donald Trump. It almost feels as America's most flawed, heavily criticised and fiercely attacked President of the United States of America has just fallen off the radar, disappeared without trace, lost in some obscure netherworld and, dare we say it, completely forgotten. It is probably safe to assume that nobody misses Trump since nobody has mentioned his name in any kind of context since Joe Biden took over as President.

Maybe he is around somewhere and would prefer some degree of anonymity which seems highly unlikely given his almost incessant exposure to the public limelight. Then there was the publicity he seemed to almost inordinately crave on a constant basis. The egotistical, conceited one has now though faded into the woodwork and the man who couldn't get enough of the crass sound bite and the muddled platitude has presumably retreated to some distant corner of America where nobody can find him.

You remember Donald Trump. We could hardly forget him. He was perhaps the most controversial, contentious, racist, sexist and serial misogynist ever to take office at the White House. But suddenly it's all gone rather quiet, don't you think so? It could be that he's now been successfully airbrushed from the history books never to appear on any TV chat show ever again. We have to be grateful because had he been allowed to continue leading the Free world in such a rash, brash, carelessly irresponsible fashion for any longer than he did then that world may well have been threatened with complete extinction. 

Anyway let us make our own suppositions and reach logical conclusions. When Trump finally conceded defeat at the beginning of the year albeit with the heaviest heart and a spiteful, childish temper, most of us must have assumed that he hadn't really left the White House's back doors. Some of us believed that he'd locked himself in a dark, wood panelled study and was simply sulking. You'll never move him and he's just adamant that he is still President of the United States. What bloody minded stubbornness.

The riots and demonstrations that followed Trump's demotion in Washington were truly disgraceful and shamefully reprehensible. It was almost as if America's sense of democracy was being brazenly carried around its shoulders. Let the people speak and let's reverse the final result. The Trump camp followers were raging and bellowing at the top of their voices, seething resentment pouring out of their mouths. But the undeniable fact was that Trump had suffered a bloodied nose, beaten comprehensively so it seemed a good time to tell him that he wasn't wanted again, surplus to requirements. 

Now of course Trump must be licking his wounds, convinced that a travesty of justice was played out to his American public. Perhaps he's wandering up and down the fairways of an American golf course searching for answers he may never find. Quite disturbingly he may still be considering world domination which you may think he's capable of but realistically it wouldn't be his best idea. 

Reports emerged shortly after Biden became President that Trump was planning to open up his very own TV station which does sound hilarious. It isn't hard to imagine pro hard line Trump news readers staring earnestly into the camera and doing their level best to convince America that Trump was robbed, the blatant victim of vote counting misfits who had clearly misled the people into thinking that Trump had lost the election and were sticking by their words. Trump was the winner or maybe not.  

Trump never really came to terms with propaganda and what might have seemed exaggerated, even false information. Everything in the apparently fairy tale world of Trump had to be coated with a sweet, sugary taste rather than plain acceptance of defeat. Of course Trump had won but only in his imagination. There must have come a point then when he simply surrendered, came out with his hands in the air and swallowed his pride. It didn't really happen though.

It is possible that Trump has gone back into the cut throat and ruthlessly competitive world of big business and million dollar deals with dubious characters who just want to humiliate him. The Trump hotel stands as a lasting monument to the Trump mindset. If you can accumulate enough money over the years and spend it on something of concrete value then everybody will pat you on the back. Everybody  though will admire his persistence, his powers of endurance when the flak was flying and everybody just hates you. 

May we suggest that we resurrect some of the more embarrassing moments in the years leading up to the Trump presidency. Many decades ago Trump once featured in an American comedy show dressed up as a chicken and promptly extolled the virtues of a certain brand of chicken that could be bought straight from your local supermarket. Donald Trump then launched into what can only be described as some of the most ludicrous chicken impersonations ever seen on any TV channel. 

Some of us are inclined to think that Trump would make an excellent chat show host if only because he'd probably decide to monopolise the whole programme with wickedly sarcastic jokes about those who had never supported him and always doubted him. He may be faced with an irresistible temptation to pretend that he was Clark Kent and Superman delusions would obviously follow. At the moment though Trump has still gone missing and if he does feel the urge to look for the Daily Planet then he may be fighting a lost cause.

The point is though that Trump is no longer the President of the United States and that in itself sounds a very comfortable sentence to a vast majority of Americans. But the legacy he left behind him may cast him in a less than flattering light. There were the explosive confrontations with the assembled Press at conferences that often descended into the realms of the stupid and bizarre. There were the inflammatory comments about certain American TV networks, the spiky and sparky statements that left most of his adversaries speechless and then the biting attacks on those who just couldn't believe what they were watching. 

Addressing Covid 19 Trump came up with the most ingenious suggestions which should perhaps be left in the hands of talented comedians and satirists. What possesses anybody to come up with the wheeze that copious amounts of bleach would guarantee instant elimination of the Covid 19 virus? Why were we subjected to those unintelligible, nonsensical speeches that defied any coherent translation. Of course Trump knew the best words but then again so did Dickens but you didn't hear him ranting about the incompetence of Fox news or CNN.

The truth is of course that Trump has gone to the ground and will probably stay there until such time as he thinks the coast is clear. Perhaps he's become a monk and is cowering away in a monastery until Fox news suddenly spot him reading his own autobiography. He could have become a jazz musician and was allegedly spotted floating effortlessly up and down the Mississippi on a paddle steamer or heading towards some mystical land where everybody simply worships him. Then again he may have become a priest and could be currently sermonising to all and sundry in some remote church down South. 

Suffice it to say we must hope that dear Donald Trump is still making sense of life because the memories are not the ones any of us would care to reflect on with any great affection. He was a positive, supportive voice for Israel and there were even some who believed that he did build or finish some imaginary wall to protect himself from Mexico. The mind is just working overtime and you can only guess. But finally the American nation has to console itself with the knowledge that things can hardly get any worse. Now what happened to that golf ball Mr Trump. We think this is the par three on the 18th and you're destined to win. Then again he invariably wins or so he believes.