Boris, what on earth are you doing?

 Boris, what on earth are you doing?

So it was that political accountability took another nosedive into some deep and shameful corner of society. It is the place where all the politicians look for when they're in the middle of a pickle. Sometimes life at Westminster just defies any kind of description. Maybe we'll get to the heart of the matter since some of us do require a very lucid and detailed explanation into the minds of those who make all the most important decisions because, quite frankly, we're just mystified. 

Yesterday Boris Johnson the Prime Minister of the UK, meekly apologised for the severest of misdemeanours and didn't quite know where to put his face. Johnson was just a picture of remorse and contrition, a man who knew that he was committing the ultimate offence but could never really find any peace of mind since both his colleagues and the much wider public were attacking him from all angles without any mercy and, quite frankly, and not in the mood to hold back any of their feelings. 

The blond one who delivers from the front in the House of Commons once again looked like a guilty criminal who seemed painfully reluctant to admit to either murder, fraud or embezzlement. He stood before the nation, sheepish, self conscious, awkward, quite obviously repentant but unwilling to face the music. He told us he was sorry but found it impossible to accept that he might have done something that had completely broken the law of the land. 

So dear old Boris, blond hair still pleading for a holiday in the Bahamas, understandably felt as though he'd betrayed his country quite openly and rather hoped that we could all move onto the next episode of his Prime Ministerial tenure. Besides, on a much more significant scale, there was quite the most horrendous war in Ukraine to be going on with and he had to think of something that would pacify Britain to keep us warm and healthy in the immediate future. The point is, he might have added, there were climate change narratives to be dealing with, fuel and gas charges to be addressed immediately. Our PM insists that  Britain has to get its priorities right.

Out in the big world, protestors are gluing themselves to our major motorways and the impassioned majority are just livid at the lackadaisical nature of the British Government. The environment warriors are believe Boris Johnson have sold the country completely short. The Westminster gang of Tory backbenchers are desperate to see a clearing in the forest of controversy relating to Party Gate but would love nothing better than to ensure that the eco-sphere can just clean up its image for ever more. 

Yesterday Britain became gripped and consumed by anger, bitterness, barely concealed fury and utter contempt for a Tory government they quite rightly felt would follow the manifesto that they were elected shortly before the announcement of the coronavirus lockdown. But then dear Boris got side tracked, almost wholly distracted from the task he should have faced rather than the one that was unfortunately foisted upon him.

So rather than concentrating on the more pressing issues and the enforcement of the urgent policies in front of him. Suddenly the country fell silent and inert for the next two years, everything came to a grinding halt, quite literally and the globe would fall into almost permanent mourning. The next two years would find Johnson desperately answering the questions of those in his Downing Street press conferences who wanted to know what exactly the Prime Minister was doing. Covid 19 just seemed to strangle all of Johnson's clear eyed vision, the idealism, the high hopes, roses around the English cottage. It wasn't his fault and yet there were some who thought it was and just lambasted him.

But here we are on the day after the fixed fine notice was issued to both Boris Johnson and Rishi Sunak, the Chancellor of the Exchequer. Both were heavily fined for misleading the nation, an act of such rank duplicity that it had to be seen to be believed. While the rest of Britain were confined to their hearth and home and banned from any kind of connection with each other, Johnson and Sunak were reneging on their promises and eating birthday cakes when such gastronomic activity was strictly forbidden.

And here is the point at which poor old Boris and Rishi lose the argument quite comprehensively and ludicrously. Boris claims in his defence, which seems to get flimsier by the minute, that the said party or birthday cake shindig only lasted 10 minutes. Now here we have to be given the benefit of the doubt because when were the great British public allowed one, two, three, four or five minutes to go anywhere near anybody for a minute let alone 10. It was strictly off limits but here's a word to the wise to our great British Prime Minister. Rules are rules and not implemented for your own personal convenience. Or maybe we've misheard you. 

The law, in essence has been broken and therefore a financial fine isn't the kind of draconian punishment you should have been given. But it's time to forget all about all of these banal allegations and just carry on Mr Johnson. There are outstanding issues to discuss and we should just engage in far more noteworthy matters. Do have a pleasant evening Prime Minister. You are to be applauded richly for your overwhelming honesty. Or perhaps not depending on your point of view. Keep going Boris. Your country has now told how they feel. Keep calm and drink coffee.