England lose again in UEFA Nations League to Italy and relegated

 England lose again in UEFA Nations League to Italy and are relegated.

It can only happen to England. To those who are still wrestling with the peculiar complexities of the UEFA Nations League this one must have thrown us altogether. Once we were confronted with both the Euros and the World Cup to deal with and understand. Then another tournament comes along to blow our minds completely. We were jogging along quite happily until football added another confusing conundrum or maybe the governing bodies of Europe have decided, in their infinite wisdom, to just complicate matters.

No sooner had England seen the back of Italy in last year's Euro 2020 Final than another edition with different connotations but similar themes arrive on our doorstep. A year ago England succeeded wondrously in reaching their first tournament Final since the 1966 World Cup Final. Last year the omens were distinctly more encouraging than we could ever have hoped. We had home advantage and Italy must have felt like a minor obstacle. But the Italians would have the final word and England were beaten.

Sadly, this was very much a case of deja-vu for Gareth Southgate. The Italians, if anything, were infinitely worse than England on the night and the whole shooting match was one long and tiresome yawn. For 90 minutes England slugged and laboured painfully against opponents who would probably have preferred the gastronomic delights of a large deep pan chicken and anchovy pizza for their evening meal followed by a late-night Netflix art house film.

Deep within the bowels of the San Siro, shortly be to bulldozered by the wrecking ball and consigned to the history books, Italy found themselves in a similarly broken state of disrepair. The Italians, quite beyond anybody's belief, have missed out on another World Cup. This feels like a leading American baseball side failing to turn up for any World Series confrontation. It simply doesn't make any kind of logical sense. But then very little in the Beautiful Game seems to figure in any calculation.

On Friday night Gareth Southgate, England's invariably smartly dressed manager, ended the game politely applauding the England fans in much the way an opening English cricketer would acknowledge the plaudits at Lords. It was as if Southgate had completed a leisurely game of crown green bowls rather than lost an international football match. But then this was sour, hostile booing reserved only for those who perform quite abysmally for the national team.

This was England's latest defeat following hard on the heels of their humiliating 4-0 defeat to Hungary earlier on in the year. What we had on Friday night could only be described as a moping, sullen- anti-climax after the courageous heroics of the Euros last year. England were sluggish, dangerous in sporadic periods, sloppy, unkempt, painfully lacking in any cutting edge and lacking all those elements of flair, invention and creativity that had illuminated their path to the Euro 2020 Final.

It is always hard to make any valid comparisons with England sides of yesteryear. The managers have come and gone and their legacies have been always telling. Kevin Keegan simply walked out of the job on impulse after Dietmar Harman scored the only goal in England's last ever game at the old Wembley. Glen Hoddle was thoughtful and well-intentioned but then came out with that tactless remark about the disabled and that was the end of Hoddle. Roy Hodgson, in more recent times, was also studious and thorough in his preparations but was then beaten by Iceland in Euro 2016. It was farewell Roy then. 

But after almost reaching the promised land of a World Cup Final in Russia four years ago, Gareth Southgate is beginning to stare down the barrel, waiting for the cannon to go off. At times it almost seems as if Southgate has been inadvertently drawn into a fashion contest of his own making. His wardrobe of well-tailored waistcoats is almost as familiar as his beard. But recently Southgate has taken to more sober clothing, casual at times but still fashionable.

Once again though Southgate looked out of plausible answers for this downturn in fortunes. He kept promising all and sundry that come the end of November England will be ship shape and ready to go in the Qatar World Cup. You keep wondering why Manchester City have won so many Premier League titles under Saudi owners while the national side struggle to form a coherent sentence without stumbling over their words. England have been this way before so this may not be considered a major shock to their system.

Not for the first time Harry Maguire looked awkward and unsure of himself at varying points in the game, Reece James was persistent and moderately adventurous on the overlap at full back but nothing really seemed to click for the Chelsea defender. Eric Dier tidied up skilfully at the back before breaking with some initiative and enterprise but even Dier looked off the pace. Kyle Walker of course was left completely lacking in any kind of athleticism for the Italian's winning goal and Luke Shaw's days as an England defender could be numbered at this rate. 

In the England midfield engine room Phil Foden added some art and ingenuity to this game but then Constable and Turner did much the same on their artists easel. Foden was both clever, forward thinking, progressive and highly imaginative while Raheem Sterling had one of those uncharacteristically quiet games where it was hard to believe he was still on the same pitch as the rest of the England team.

By the time Jack Grealish was introduced to the game as a sub, England had lost their tourist guide, now resigned to going around in ever increasing circles. Grealish's influence on a game is both profound and game changingly effective. Grealish is much more the silk weaver than the blood and sweat artisan who simply goes unnoticed. The fouls he draws with those bewitching runs at defenders can often lead to productive free kicks. But even Grealish seemed surplus to requirements last night.

When captain Harry Kane seemed to go down with a serious injury during the second half it looked as if England would just hobble to limp defeat without so much as whimper. But then Kane sat up, wiping the blood from his mouth seemingly before returning to the fray. Kane, though was admittedly deprived of the necessary supply of goal scoring opportunities and many more under par performances like this and England may think that TE Lawrence would probably have had more success in the desert. 

Italy, for their part, were neither here nor there. There were the cultured, short passes to feet, the mathematical triangles, the neatly co-ordinated movements but then came a frustrating cul-de sac. Bryan Cristane caught the eye with some pleasing touches in midfield, Nico Barella was smooth and sophisticated, Tomasso Pogeba, intelligent, far sighted and innovative while Davide Frattessi and Jorginho kept mixing it up with variations on a midfield theme.

But this is an Italy in rehabilitation, still shell shocked after another failure to reach a World Cup tournament. Maybe we've taken their presence in a World Cup for granted but you remember their brilliant manager Enzo Bearzot during the 1970s and can only imagine what his reaction would have been to this preposterous state of affairs. A World Cup without Italy is a World Cup without drama, controversy, the operatic soundtrack, the flares among their passionate supporters, the emotional banners and of course the players. 

There are no Baresis, Maldinis, the genius of Pirlo or the incomparable Rivera in their ranks. Italy are now wandering through the Venetian back streets desperately searching for a gondola that takes them all the way to their destination. One goal was enough in last night's game against England and it came in the second half. Some things are destined to happen and Italy grabbed hold of fate and ran with it.

On the hour, Giacomo Raspadori took hold of the ball just outside the England penalty area. He checked back, quickly sorted out his twinkling feet, drove inside Kyle Walker, England's now flailing defender before striking the ball beautifully high past England keeper Nick Pope. It would be the game's decisive winning goal on the night and Gareth Southgate slouched off the pitch disconsolately off the San Siro, hoping that a World Cup will become his enduring salvation. On this form though this is wishful thinking and delusional. Southgate is no Don Revie but that rarefied desert air could work in his favour. Revie was never forgiven for walking out of England but Southgate was never one for carpet bowls before a big game. In Gareth we trust.