The Eurovision Song Contest

 The Eurovision Song Contest

Now we all know why Ukraine won't be holding next year's Eurovision Song Contest. The harrowing and horrific images that continue to appal and shock the whole of the world, let alone Europe, serve as a simple reminder of man's inhumanity to man, woman and children. The nightly bulletins of war- ravaged buildings, the charred ruins of a broken country, torn by disaster and destruction, fill us with an unspeakable dread that simply defies belief and renders us both stunned and speechless.

Yesterday a blazing fire took complete hold of the now besieged Ukranian suburb of Lviv, schools, government buildings, hospitals, shops and more importantly residential districts just shattered, fragmented masonry, brickwork scattered into a thousand pieces and a once proud community just inconsolable, dying, dead, severely maimed and injured. There are no signs of the tyrannical monster who is President Putin of Russia relenting, giving up on his murderous quest for world domination.

And yet there were silver linings for this proud, independent country. Earlier on this year Ukraine, with the full and emotional support of the world watching on TV, won this year's Eurovision Song Contest. In any other ordinary year this wouldn't have been source of interest or enduring fascination. But the whole of the country is still being battered, pummelled, pulverised and flattened into oblivion. The truth is that very little in the way of Ukraine's essential infrastructure is still intact and there's certainly no venue that could possibly accommodate something so culturally diverting and entertaining as a Eurovision Song Contest.

So the decision was taken to move operations to this year's Eurovision Song Contest runners up country. Move forward into the spotlight the United Kingdom. The bearded Sam Ryder, full of the milk of human kindness, politely accepted second place and considered himself privileged to be part of the Ukranian Eurovision Contest winning team. He smiled broadly, congratulated the winning song and just gallantly accepted defeat. But even Ryder knew that circumstances were so extenuating that it was only a matter of time before the United Kingdom would be required to hold next year's contest.

And then it became official. It would either be Liverpool or Glasgow. Other major British cities had been considered but it was Liverpool or Glasgow. In one short announcement Liverpool got the final vote. For a while you wondered why before then realising that Liverpool remains one of the most musically innovative of British cities and there could be no doubt whatsoever that on merit, their credentials could never have been questioned.

So it came to pass that Liverpool will play host to one of the most cherished and in the eyes of the silent minority, one of the most idiosyncratic yearly music events in Europe. It is the kind of music that has perhaps been cruelly mocked over the years for its emphasis on the bizarre, the novel and the unusual. The derision is clearly misguided if you were to listen to the competition's most ardent enthusiasts but next year the Eurovision Song Contest will return to British shores. 

Your mind travels back to the United Kingdom's more recent and chequered record in the contest. For reasons best known to officialdom and hardened Euro sceptics Britain have become the long- standing music hall joke among the great and good. The last time the United Kingdom seriously troubled the scorers of Eurovision judges was that momentous night when they actually won it. Katrina and the Waves 'Shine A Light' in 1997 captured the hearts of the most impartial outsider so much so that most of us can still remember the song 25 years later as if it were yesterday. 

But Eurovision is good, old- fashioned fun, frivolous in the extreme, cheesy when the mood takes it and full of kitsch with a pleasing nod to eccentricity. Back in the 1960s Cliff Richard was edged into second place with 'Congratulations' while a bare footed girl by the name of Sandie Shaw from Dagenham, Essex gladdened and uplifted us with 'Puppet on a String, a much-deserved winner.

It would take Britain over a decade to clinch first prize. Two girls and two boys going under the name of Brotherhood of Man treated us to quirky dance steps, flared trousers, girls wearing fashionable berets and the most infectious of ditties. 'Save All Your Kisses For Me' became amusingly catchy, typically Eurovision and remained in our heads for the rest of the 1970s but how we embraced its message. Eurovision would almost become rooted in our long- term memories even if we were reluctant to admit as much.

And then during the Eighties when pop music reached its most enjoyable period of disco superiority two more boys and girls came to our attention. Perhaps the most common theme running through the United Kingdom's participation was the girl boy, girl boy girl combination. Bucks Fizz were, rather like Brotherhood of Mann, brilliantly matched, a group with perfect pop chemistry, harmonising perfectly and never taking themselves too seriously. 

Half way through 'Making Your Mind Up' the girls Jay Aston and Cheryl Baker whipped away their skirts flirtatiously and teasingly, revealing the lighter side to the contest which had always been present anyway. Bucks Fizz emerged as thoroughly convincing winners that year but that was 1981. The intervening years have yielded very little to get excited for the United Kingdom. 

For years the dulcet tones of Sir Terry Wogan have accompanied the Eurovision Song Contest but even he became totally disillusioned with the wild scoring discrepancies that left the United Kingdom with no points and egg on their faces. But then Sir Terry departed the BBC commentary box and for the next decade or so the United Kingdom struggled to reach double figures invariably finding themselves languishing near the bottom of the pile. 

But last year a gentleman by the name of Sam Ryder, not to be mistaken for the legendary golfer who gave us the Ryder Cup, brought us 'Spaceman', instantly memorable but maybe not quite good enough as such. None of us though had bargained on the presence of the Ukraine and before we knew it the realisation had dawned on us. In a matter of hours a warm current of sympathy ran through the audience and everybody was converted. A country at war and desperate for recognition had rendered all of us tearful. After dominating the first round of scoring, the whole of Europe gave Ukraine the full complement of twelve points. 

Sadly though the horrors and abominations which have now become a daily tragedy in the Ukraine now meant that the country couldn't possibly welcome Europe to its fair and beautiful city. But Liverpool remains prepared for Eurovision's customary diet of the awful, the pathetic, the mediocre but in the same breath, the glorious and uplifting. 

While the bombs and gunfire rage into the night of an autumnal Ukraine, Liverpool will lend an empathetic voice to those who hide in bomb shelters in fear of their lives. The city that gave us the Beatles and Gerry and the Pacemakers will wrap a comforting arm around its European neighbours and re-assure us that life must go on and the Eurovision Song Contest will always be there as an antidote to madness, destruction and unforgivable violence. Bring on the contestants. Liverpool awaits with a friendly reception.