Oh woe West Ham

 Oh woe West Ham.

So here we are on a dark, wintry evening in early November and your wretchedly unpredictable football team are back in the doldrums. Something tells you that deep inside there is actually an entertaining, engrossing, free flowing football team waiting to get out but sadly today was no such day. In fact West Ham, it has to be said, were, by all accounts awful, dreadful, intolerable, unbearable and excruciatingly painful to watch. It could have been far worse but defeat at home always gets you right there in the pit of your stomach.

Having grinned and bore over 40 years of abject misery, utter despondency, triumphant victory, pulsating drama, grim melodrama, deeply emotional investment, experiences of the supernatural when everything looked beyond belief and a good helping of crazy anti-climax, you find yourself wondering why. Why the tears and tantrums, the trials and tribulations, the agonising mediocrity and then the inevitable defeat after dominating a game that should have been won quite emphatically at half time?

At lunchtime West Ham transported their supporters to one of those places that were wearisomely familiar by now and almost unavoidable. In recent away visits to Liverpool and Manchester United, West Ham did give a fairly convincing impersonation of a team who might have thought the impossible could have been possible if only they'd played the game at three o'clock on a Saturday afternoon. But then again when was the last time that happened? Was it before the Neolithic Age, the Ice Age or were cavemen scrawling hieroglyphics on a wall just to pass the hours away and shortly before the advent of the BBC Test Card?

But earlier on today the team who play their matches at the London Stadium Olympic Park looked anything but Olympians or Greek Adonises. West Ham were beaten 2-1 by a Crystal Palace side under Patrick Viera who themselves have struggled to find any kind of consistency. So this was a contest between glaring inconsistencies. Palace have now sailed serenely into the calm waters of mid table Premier League safety while West Ham looked as though they'd seen a terrifying ghost and were almost beaten before they'd even started.

True, these are still comparatively early days in the Premier League season although November now seems fairly well advanced by anybody's reckoning. West Ham were thankful of course that the bottom three isn't quite as close as it could have been for them. But here is a side stuck in a rut and the sense of morbid malaise in East London could suck them down towards a destination that may not to be their liking. This is too close for comfort for a West Ham side who are now experiencing the kind of form that dogged them horribly several years ago. The 3-0 home defeat to Burnley was more or less the lowest point and the sight of a corner flag being stuck in the centre circle by disgruntled fans, may haunt some supporters for quite a while.

And yet it is still hard to reconcile yourself to the fact that over the last two seasons West Ham have qualified for Europe by finishing sixth and seventh respectively. Sometimes the laws of gravity can defeat all of us but a home fixture against an eminently beatable Crystal Palace team, left some of us speechless and mystified. Palace are not seasoned commercial travellers away from home and this afternoon's last gasp victory over West Ham must have been the most welcome antidote.

Not for the first time this season, West Ham took the lead and then squandered it only this time right at the end of the match. Nobody said any season would ever be that easy for the Hammers since every season is rather like a gruelling assault course for the team in claret and blue. The acquisition of 40 points for West Ham has now become a regular challenge since most teams who reach that exalted level always need smelling salts once they get to that point.

For West Ham laborious struggle has become almost common for a club of West Ham's status. On sober reflection the remarkable feats of the last two seasons, almost feel like some Hollywood fantasy film where all that glisters glistens. There was of course the horrendous Sam Allardyce period which even now leaves most of West Ham's hardened loyalists reaching for excessive quantities of alcohol whenever they think about it. Poor Allardyce is a friendly and likeable man but his footballing philosophies left a lot be desired. 

West Ham of course may have cause to be grateful that the Manuel Pellegrini ordeal is now well and truly behind them. The Chilean of course had led to Manchester City to the Premier League title but after a severely traumatic time at the London Stadium, was sacked when defeat after defeat became too much to bear for West Ham's owners David Gold and Sullivan. The final straw for Pellegrini was the Hammers humiliating FA Cup exit to AFC Wimbledon.

Now of course the midfield engine room of Tomas Soucek, Declan Rice supplemented by the willing and conscientious running of Jarrod Bowen, seemed to just dissolve before their fans eyes. West Ham's football does have the potential to take the breath away but then you realise that there are occasions when the pistons and pulleys are in dire need of oiling. None are panicking in East London but for those who have seen it all before, the machinery that used to serve West Ham so well now seems to be misfiring.

Completely against the run of play West Ham opened the scoring when after some intricate manoeuvres between the Brazilian Lucas Pacqueta and Said Benrahma, still a stunning talent when the mood takes him, left Benrahma on his own and the Algerian cracked home a special goal. By now Palace must have been cursing themselves since they were the only side who looked as though they could score a hatful of goals.

Under Patrick Viera, a player honed perfectly in the arts and crafts of the game by former Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger, Palace treat a football like a fondly cherished uncle, passing the ball around in ever increasing circles, commanding possession, guarding the ball jealously and then going through the geometric motions, angling the ball around as if it were some isosceles triangle. Viera has finally found the right chemistry and Palace looked the real deal, cohesive, clear in their thinking and gambling on the right cards.

On a day when even skipper Declan Rice wasn't quite the potent attacking force manager David Moyes might have been expecting and even the Brazilian Pacqueta looked as if he was far more preoccupied with thoughts of World Cups and Qatar, West Ham were appallingly off the pace. It is hard to find an adequate explanation for this lacklustre, desperately poor display for West Ham but sooner or later they may have to find something in reserve just to pacify restless fans.

In a couple of weeks time, the World Cup in Qatar does indeed begin and there is a school of thought that it can't come quickly enough for West Ham and Moyes. West Ham have yet to release the handbrake and you get the impression that they may be relishing the temporary break in the Premier League season.  

During next week West Ham play their Carabao Cup match against Blackburn Rovers before wrapping up the first half of the season with a home game against Leicester City who themselves look both morose and stagnant. Then the shutters go up on the Premier League season and some of us must be hoping that by the time they resume their campaign with a match against Premier League leaders Arsenal on Boxing Day the dust will have settled.

But these are worrying times for David Moyes and West Ham may be forced into finding something that will help them to escape the sticky treacle they now found themselves in. But Boxing Day and ironically Blackburn Rovers does have an unfortunate resonance for West Ham. An 8-2 victory for Rovers at Upton Park in 1963, still leaves West Ham cold. Oh for the simple joys of following the happy Hammers. Anybody for turkey sandwiches.