England win in in Auld Enemy match against Scotland

 England win in Auld Enemy match against Scotland

To suggest that Scotland's record against England is nothing short of atrocious would be the ultimate understatement. It is in fact quite embarrassing but we should perhaps draw a veil over the patently obvious. England haven't been beaten by Scotland since 1985 and they weren't about to start now. This anniversary match between the two good natured foes was just the latest in a whole sequence of catastrophes for Scotland and by the end of this humiliatingly one sided contest, Scotland were clinging onto the ropes as if they hadn't taken enough punishment.

Admittedly this was merely a friendly but any England football match against Scotland is rarely set against a backdrop of mutual friendship, jolly good banter and bonhomie. In fact if they'd been allowed to metaphorically strangle each other by the throat you wouldn't have been surprised at all. But since November 1872 these two neighbouring countries have been snarling, sneering, sniggering, taunting, tormenting each other, joshing and then just hating each other's guts. It goes a long way back into sporting history but the gunfire and smoke can still be smelt even now.

Throughout the decades and centuries the insults have been exchanged, bitterness maintained, derogatory barbs aimed directly at each other and then comments laced with poisonous undertones. There has truly been no love lost between Scotland and England and they weren't about to build bridges just because the game signified the 150th anniversary of this famous international fixture. You'd have thought they'd let bygones be bygones and just move on but there is still an underlying undercurrent of vengeance, one upmanship and, perhaps childish contempt for each other which brooks no argument.

For the record though England were in such a class of their own that if this had been a proper competitive match then you might have feared the worst even before the game itself. Scotland have spent the last couple of decades trying desperately to sort themselves out and somehow find any key that would have quite clearly opened up the English defence. That they failed miserably probably says all you need to know about the parlous state of Scottish football. 

The Scottish international team have been wandering around the lofty surroundings of the global game desperately searching for both form, a coherent identity and of course goals that win games decisively. Admittedly, their recent form in their Euro 2024 qualifying group has been more or less impeccable and only a 2-1 win for Norway against Georgia last night deprived the Scots of the certain knowledge that next summer they too will be added to the list of European Championship participants. But they're almost there and that probably matters much more to Scotland than some petty defeat by England in a friendly.

But on a Tuesday evening at their spiritual home of Hampden Park, the Scots were once again in boisterous mood, still belting out those humorous Scottish ditties, folk songs galore and barely suppressed imprecations and obscenities at the expense of England. Hampden was jammed solid with vibrant voices, vigorous chanting from the depths of their hearts and patriotism from every corner of the ground. This could have been regarded as somehow too nationalistic and slightly unnerving if you didn't know the Scots were just having a good, old fashioned laugh at the visitors expense.

And so it was that England beat Scotland once again. The visitors 3-1 victory does sound both convincing and comprehensive because quite clearly it was. Gareth Southgate, England's most respectable manager, must have been wondering whether his team had ever experienced such an easy night and to a large extent this was a walk in the Hampden park. England's painful and laborious struggle in Poland, where a 1-1 draw against Ukraine was probably the least they deserved, once again underlined one or two shortcomings in Southgate's England but then no international team was ever perfect.

In isolation though this was the one match you could hardly have dismissed as just an argument over the garden fence. England against Scotland is serious, business like, personal, ya boo sucks, full of raw authenticity, the real thing and the one fixture in international football where the result takes complete precedence to any other consideration. It is not a friendly and it is us against them, battle lines drawn and no prisoners taken. This means something and of course it's a game of vital importance because if either loses then you'd be advised to take the day off school, college, university or work. You may get it in the proverbial neck so be prepared for the flak.

The memories come flooding back. In 1977 seemingly the whole population of Scotland descended on the old Wembley Stadium for the now sadly defunct Home Internationals. What followed was hostile war, fists bunched together, mayhem, carnage, flying debris, utter bedlam. One end of the old Wembley was completely taken over by delighted Scots who must have thought all their birthdays had come at the same time. Not only had they beaten Don Revie's England 2-1 they had conquered the enemy, won another proxy World Cup ten years after their last triumph but they'd put the English in their place.

The sight of cross bars and posts being brutally broken and rejoicing Scots literally destroying Wembley still brings back too many painful memories for anybody's liking. Navy blue shirts and the tartan regalia flooded onto the pitch. Soon the Scots were ripping up divots of grass, sitting on bent cross bars and pretending to be macho and aggressively masculine. In hindsight it now seems rather pathetic and shameful but at the time nobody had seen anything like it.

There are those who still remember England's 9-3 walloping of the Auld Enemy in the early 1960s, a game which saw the incomparable Jimmy Greaves come into his own. Greaves almost took on a helpless Scottish defence singlehandedly, scoring for fun and then smiling like a Cheshire cat. By the end of the game England fans were in almost gallows humour mood, poking fun and ridiculing their opponents almost mercilessly.

Then there was the shameless exhibition of stylish football from an England side under the inspirational guidance of Gerry Francis as captain. In 1975 Francis opened the scoring with a cracking rocket of a shot from outside the penalty area and there followed a torrent of goals. By the hour mark England were three up and dancing around the Scots rather like an early Hogmanay. Goals from Kevin Beattie and Colin Bell were just a selection of the best in a 5-1 victory for England.

In later years the England and Scotland contest has assumed an almost comic book appearance if only because a vast majority of football fans still think of it as playground jollity, coats for goalposts quite literally and make sure that no windows are smashed into the bargain. The burning rivalry between the two is almost too well established but on the night England had far too much streetwise intelligence and far too much cleverness on the ball. They were quicker, sharper, neater, technically brilliant at times and knew exactly how to move the ball around decisively and lethally.

In 1872 the Auld Lang Syne derby had fizzled out into a goal-less draw while England's last encounter with Scotland also met with the same result in Euro 2020. The there was nothing between the two sides and some complained about the nasty snarl up at both ends of the old Wembley. Now though England are almost on the verge of Euro 24 qualification and any visit to Germany reminds England of the two world wars and 1966.

England, for their part, boasted a defence of impassable excellence, ruggedness and dependability. Kyle Walker still plays with the exuberance of youth, galloping, sprinting and going shoulder to shoulder with attackers wherever they go. Lewis Dunk, Brighton's first England player since goodness knows when if it all, was completely composed, unruffled and never remotely threatened by marauding Scotsmen, while new boy Marc Guehi and Kieran Tripper looked as though they'd been playing since at least 1966, so calm and controlled were they in everything they did.

Then there was Arsenal's new signing Declan Rice from West Ham. Rice is beginning to look like a future England captain and all the evidence was there to admire. His self possession and comfortable possession of the ball whenever the Scots did break out sporadically, was a sight to treasure. Rice is taking on so much more responsibility on the pitch that there are definitely leadership qualities that have to be taken seriously. Kalvin Phillips is also highly constructive, surging forward for his national team, reading a game with all the enthusiasm of a literary type perusing a book on football tactics. Phillips is bubbly, bristling with idealism, a model of athleticism and daring dynamism. Manchester City would be foolish to sell Phillips in any transfer window.

And now perhaps there was man of the match Jude Bellingham. Slowly but surely Bellingham is beginning to look England's creative talisman, a magician, genuine playmaker and quite the most remarkable of natural talents. Recently Real Madrid's new signing England must think they've suddenly discovered another Gazza if without the emotional baggage that came from the former Newcastle, Spurs, Rangers and Middlesbrough plotter and midfield genius. Bellingham is now the go to English player, a man years ahead of his tender 20 years, shrewd, far sighted, insightful, perceptive, classy on the ball, wriggling past Scotland shirts as if they weren't there. Oh what a joy.

To complete the England conveyor belt of English talent there is Manchester City's Phil Foden who once again looked full of vim, vitality and admirable energy. Foden looks like one of those players who just live for the game, an obsessive perfectionist but in a good way while also superbly energetic. Foden was in the right place and time for England's opening goal. After an intricate exchange of neat passes with Marcus Rashford and company, Foden casually walked the ball into the net with Scottish defenders on some craggy rock. It all looked so clean, cool and clinical.

After another bout of trickery, sleight of twinkling feet and commendable England attacking approach work, Marcus Rashford, Manchester United's fast thinking and moving striker, gathered hold of the ball before swiftly switching the ball on to Foden, this time found time and space, crossed adeptly and low and Bellingham crashed the ball past Angus Gunn in the Scotland goal. At this point Scotland, now provoked into action, did rally briefly and threatened Aaron Ramsdale in the England goal with some frequency. But this was now an uphill struggle for Scotland and up in the Highlands, desperate Scottish voices were fading into the thin Hampden Park air. 

True, Scotland did score and narrowed the margin but even that effort was the result of an own goal from the much mocked Harry Maguire. Every time the Manchester United defender came anywhere near the ball he was heavily jeered by the Scottish massed hordes in the crowd. It was Maguire who unfortunately found himself almost helpless. A lovely knot of passes between Kieran Tierney of Arsenal and Andy Robertson of Liverpool culminated in Maguire steering the ball into his own English net. An own goal by England might have represented comical value for the Scots but this was not a night for Scottish boasting or braggadocio.

Minutes later Harry Kane, now of Bayern Munich, displayed all of the classical atrributes of the old fashioned centre forward. Kane of course is desperately searching for a trophy in the game of any description and finally ran out with patience with his childhood idols Spurs. Kane has started smoothly with the Bundesliga giants and once again scored an almost regulation goal. Following another moment of stupendous brilliance from Jude Belligham. Bellingham turned his defender inside out as if it was something that came naturally for the Real Madrid man before transferring the ball on for Kane with another inventive touch. Kane ran onto the ball and beautifully steered the ball past the Scotland keeper for a conclusive third.

And so another Scotland- England grudge match had run its course. At the end it didn't seem to really matter to either team and just bragging rights until their next encounter. A faint sound of bagpipes could be heard in those heather clad Scottish mountains. Sadly this was just a plaintive moan and cry of frustration. Gareth Southgate looked over to his managerial counterpart Steve Clarke in his Scottish technical area. It was an utterly respectful smile but for a while longer 1985 will continue to haunt Hampden corridors. Another victory for England had been completed. We must hope that both teams will always have their Germany next summer. Now that would be nice.