General Election year and the Tories are rapidly disappearing.

 General Election year and the Tories are rapidly disappearing.

After 14 years of character assassination, blatant betrayal, lies, double dealing and a good deal of mischievous giggling in the face of hardship, the Conservative party finds itself at a crossroads. In fact the truth is the Tories are in a right old state, in a hole of their own making, burdened by a dire predicament and more or less in tatters. Nobody should jump to any rash conclusions but it does appear that they're doomed, condemned to a life outside 10 Downing Street and feeble opposition to what would seem like a Labour government sometime this year. But then again anything can happen and miracles are possible.

We should have known of course that eventually they'd run out of time or were just treading water desperately. This looks like the most dishevelled mess, a party now torn apart, riven by internal divisions, conflicts of interest, bickering and quarrelling among themselves and wishing that someone would put them out of their misery. Somewhere over the horizon there is a Tory party heading into a grey wilderness.  It almost feels as though the Conservative party are now resigned to defeat in this year's General Election- whenever that is.

Yes folks it's General Election year and, as is normally the case, most of us will be constantly reminded that our vote counts and Second World War soldiers made the ultimate sacrifices with their lives for the right to put our cross on our ballot box piece of paper. But the inescapable fact is that none of us know with any certainty why we are voting, who we're supposed to be voting for and whether it's worth all of that effort and exertion if only because there seems little point.

At the moment Rishi Sunak, the UK Prime Minister, is compiling a dossier of facts, statistics, information, a little humour and convincing evidence which will corroborate his defence of the obvious. Of course the Tories will bring Britain back into the land of honey and gold, enduring prosperity, excellent health, better educated, wiser, happier and entirely satisfied with everything the Tories may have to offer. If you vote for the Conservatives the country will thrive, succeed and hit all the right economic targets. 

If you vote for the Tories you will certainly be able to afford a new house and mortgage, make a decent life for yourselves and just get on with the business of living. The cost of living crisis will become ancient history, the rate of inflation will be kept down to an acceptable level, the NHS will get a huge injection of money while junior and senior doctors will get a fortune. Wages at all levels will, at long last, become commensurate with the rest of the working world and we'll all be living in the lap of luxury.

Britain's long term future will be at its healthiest with greener than ever environmental issues imminently addressed as soon as Sunak returns to 10 Downing Street. Carbon fuel will transform the country's landscape in a way that may take all of us by surprise. And we should never forget the whole tenure of Prime Minister which is sure to come under the closest scrutiny. This is where the fiercest spotlight will fall on any incoming Prime Minister.

When Boris Johnson swept to power as Prime Minister at the end of 2019, most of us were hoping against hope that here would be the man who would ultimately be the answer to our dreams. Sadly though, no sooner than Johnson got his feet under the table then a globally catastrophic virus would ruin his moment of glory. It all seemed to go according to plan but by the end of January 2020, stories emerging from a cruise vessel began to spiral out of  control. People were suffering from some mysterious illness that would turn our lives upside down for the next two and a half years. 

By March, Johnson was huffing and puffing, issuing urgent instructions to the great British public and wondering what on earth was going on around him. It almost felt like a wartime scenario but with several notable differences. Now it was that Covid 19 had been coined as the new term to what would become a fatal illness in the months and years to come. But this was no war because there were no terrorists, and no destruction of property nor human beings by gunfire, bombs or bullets. Johnson was now facing a major health issue and for the most of 2020, looked as though he'd seen a ghost.

Thankfully two years later and two prime ministers down the line Britain now finds itself fathoming the current incumbent Rishi Sunak. The bottom line here is that the Tories have been the government  in residence for 14 years and are now may have passed their sell by date. So perhaps we should all just give them a sharp jab in the ribs and tell them in no uncertain terms that they're surplus to requirements and should just leave by the tradesman's entrance but this time exit immediately. Sunak now looks like one of the last business leaders to leave the conference room, slightly embarrassed and just reduced to tiresome soundbites and pathetic platitudes we must have heard a thousand times.

Sadly most of the collateral damage had been done in the wake of Boris Johnson's departure from 10 Downing Street. After what must have been several lifetimes, Johnson left office amid a whole barrage of scathing and personal criticism. He'd blundered around the whole of Covid 19 unforgivably, grasped at coherent sentences about matters of crucial importance and finally ended up quoting passages from a children's book Peppa The Pig when influential entrepreneurs were gathered to listen to his every word.

Shortly after leaving the premises there was a brief hiatus as busy and diligent ministers all rushed around doing their utmost to make matters considerably worse than they already were. There was scandal after scandal, cheese and wine parties that should have been forbidden at source when Covid 19 had said that such riotous revelry was out of the question and boozy ensembles were at their height in Westminster.

And then there was Liz Truss. Now to say Truss was the worst and most temporary Prime Minister would be a gross understatement. Truss, in one of the most bizarre and amateurish acts of miscalculation and financial mismanagement, announced a proposal that would have probably led to street riots and violent demonstrations had she carried through with it. Within 45 days Truss had gone without so much as a whimper. Truss had left the building and the country just looked at the people who were entrusted with the responsibility of running the UK. Eyes were rubbed in stunned amazement.

Following another period of hostile bloodletting among the Tories, there were raging arguments and counter arguments, serious reflection and a realisation that something had to give. And it did. There was head scratching, a sense of genuine shock and a lengthy session of papering over the cracks. For a while the candidates for Prime Minister were multiplying by the hour and day. So they tossed a coin quite probably, played rock, paper and scissors or just drew lots since none of us knew about the competence and suitability of any replacement for Liz Truss.

There was the terrible disaster who was Theresa May as PM, who was almost destined to fall flat on her face after tearfully accepting her fate when Brexit hadn't quite lived up to her deluded expectations. Of course she was proudly patriotic but most of the nation considered May just wasn't up to the practicalities of dealing with Brexit and she had to leave office quite swiftly. So once again it was that door Theresa. She'd wanted her country back but not on the terms and conditions as stipulated by her colleagues and the public alike.

So here we are months away from a General Election although no date has been fixed as yet. We could be here quite a while and we are now gearing up for the great and earnest debates about Gaza, the Ukraine, the economy, the environment and the dodginess of politicians when asked simple questions. But some of us couldn't possibly comment and impartiality is our current stance. We'll be bombarded with party political broadcasts, carefully engineered campaigns on behalf of all parties and then the door knocking in every community, town, city and village throughout the country. They'll be asking your vote please because that's what it says on our trustworthy manifesto. Of course you can trust them. 

As the days and weeks fly past the cynics and disgruntled radio phone in callers will become more vociferous and controversial. Shortly Sunak and Sir Keir Starmer leader of the Labour party and Ed Davy, the Liberal Democrats leader. Then the lesser known political parties will throw their philosophies into the circus ring. Some of us are hoping that the Monster Ravin Loony party will be at their most articulate and sensible because they quite clearly have the finger on the pulse of the nation.

And finally within a week or two of the General Election, Sunak, Starmer and Davy will be summoned before the TV cameras for a good old fashioned dust up and argy bargy confrontation. It'll be one of the most objectionable, horribly tedious and insufferable spectacle you're ever likely to see.

 They'll spend a wasted evening pointing fingers at each other, accusing of each other of gross incompetence and just talking over the other as you normally would in a civilised world or maybe not. There will be incessant point scoring, facetious comments, childish and insulting comments by the dozen and general unpleasantness. But then again you'd hardly expect anything else from politicians. So buckle up folks and prepare for the General Election. Some of us believe there can only be one result but then again none of us really know. It should be a very interesting year for British politics.