England are promoted to group A of the UEFA Nations League.

 England are promoted to group A of the UEFA Nations League.

England have been promoted to group A of the UEFA Nations League. That's official and unquestionable. In bold lettering. All over the country, advertising hoardings will be emblazoned with the news. Every high street, suburban and urban shopping centre, road, street and avenue will be announcing perhaps one of the most underwhelming pieces of information in the sporting history of Britain and the Commonwealth. Or will it be? This could be one of the greatest days in England's chequered history. You somehow think not. 

 Maybe we're underestimating the momentousness of England's achievement in the highest echelons of international football. But now is not the time for being facetious because the England football team are back at the top table of world football and it's time to get out the street bunting, dozens of sandwiches, crisps, cakes and biscuits and tables heaving with celebratory food and drink. Yes folks, England are through to the latter stages of the UEFA Champions League and you can pinch yourself now.  

They are through to Group A of the UEFA Champions League. Yesterday, the vicars and congregation of every Sunday church across the country were chanting homages to the England football team. Every rhapsodic hymn, including Jerusalem, floated across the lush meadows, the well manicured fields, while also giving thanks to the gushing rivers and streams that dot the timelessly majestic landscape of the British countryside. Brass bands and jazz quartets, orchestras and theatres could hardly contain their excitement. England are back among the main contenders. And the Republic of Ireland could do nothing about it. 

For a country that rejoices in its grand literary heritage and Guinness drinking culture, this was not the best of nights for the Republic of Ireland football team. In fact, it could hardly have gone any worse for Southern Ireland since Finland couldn't do them any favours against Greece and Irish luck was completely out. In the bars and taverns of Dublin they must have been drowning their sorrows and you could almost hear their ancestors weeping into tankards of inconsolable booze. Maybe the likes of Oscar Wilde, William Yeats and Seamus Heaney may have been somewhere in the ether, sobbing bitterly but we doubt it. 

This was an awful and disastrous evening for the Republic of Ireland who must have thought they'd held out quite creditably against an England side who probably thought they'd done enough anyway even before last night's contest. Wembley was reasonably jammed solid but not exactly bursting at the seams with pleasure. When both the Republic and England met at the Aviva, the Irish were swept away in a white tidal wave of pressure and English domination. Euro 2024 had been forgotten and this was a new slate, new time and place and another tournament. What could go wrong?

The only blot on England's horizon was the horrific 2-1 defeat by Greece at Wembley and, judging by the nerves and apprehension gripping the English fans before the match against Eire, you feared that something could malfunction and, for a while, England reminded you of a hall of fretful school students studying for their A Levels. Their heads were down, creased with anxiety and full of worse case permutations. What would have happened had they drawn a blank on their logarithms and algorithms, their algebra, their graphs and rock formations, their extensive knowledge of the capitals of the world? It doesn't bear thinking about. 

But Lee Carsley, their temporary boss, bowed out with an emphatic 5-0 victory and confirmation that things had gone well for him. It all looked a bit dodgy and worrying at times but there was never any need to panic. England were on solid ground last night and everything looked safe and secure, then oozing with confidence because somebody had pulled the right levers and switched on the right lights. By the time that an hour of the match had gone, England were sailing serenely away with happiness and out of sight. The England cruise vessel looked in stately command, untroubled by raging storms that might have impeded their progress. No problem and no sweat for Lee Carsley's men.

After an even and tightly contested first half in which the bulk of England's possession seemed to be going nowhere, the large green contingent of noisy and high spirited Irish fans were in full voice. The Irish were moderately threatening at times but this was never going to be their night. There were no goals in their tank and, at times, you wondered what the magical feet and vision of Liam Brady would have made of last night's mish mash of a Republic team. You tried to imagine what the likes of Don Givens, Tony Grealish, Ray Houghton and Frank Stapleton would have done to turn around the fortunes of this current Republic of Ireland team. 

The days of the unforgettable managerial reign of Jack Charlton are no longer relevant. The legendary 1966 England World Cup winner would have seen the delicious irony of this painful defeat for the Irish. But then Charlton would probably have pointed to that other memorable confrontation in the 1988 European Championship when Houghton's guided header flew past Peter Shilton in the England goal for the winning goal in the group stages. 

But this made for nasty and uncomfortable viewing for the Irish, an evening for hiding behind sofas and cowering away shamefully in Irish pubs. Their football looked distinctly pleasing and well constructed but there was little cutting edge and nothing to upset the English apple cart. So England gradually gathered themselves for an imminent cavalry charge and then the second half arrived. One defining and match- changing moment left the Irish busted and broken.

Minutes into the second half, Liam Scales launched into a reckless tackle for the Irish, having already been booked earlier on in the game. It was as if somebody had knocked over their king in a game of chess. The Irish were floored and bereft, desolate and desperate. A hitherto well organised green defence tumbled to the ground. England gorged themselves hungrily on a banquet of goals. It became all too easy. The Irish were horribly exposed and even England's permanently optimistic supporters could hardly believe what they were seeing, a calamitous Irish defensive collapse. 

Harry Kane, dropped for the game against Greece in Athens, was back in the team. It was Kane's delightfully perceptive and well weighted pass into the path of Jude Bellingham that left the first cut in the Irish wounds. Bellingham was tripped blatantly in the penalty area, Kane stuttered before drilling the penalty into the back of the Eire net. 

Then Tino Livramento, another surprise choice for Lee Carsley's squad, surged to the by line purposefully, cutting the ball back sharply with a low cross that arced over Irish heads and into the onrushing Anthony Gordon. The Newcastle winger is slowly developing the instincts of a Tom Finney although that may be a gross exaggeration. But Gordon came steaming into the six yard box at full pelt and clipped the ball firmly into the net for what now looked a decisive second goal for England. 

England were now definitely in control of a game that never looked in doubt after England doubled their lead. This was the cue for the appearance of the increasingly impressive West Ham striker Jarrod Bowen to add even more punch and bite to England's flourishing attack. Within minutes of Bowen jogging onto the pitch as a substitute, England were awarded a free kick from out on the right. A precise ball to Bowen's feet worked like a dream and the Hammers striker whipped a well struck shot confidently past the Liverpool goalkeeper Caoimhin Kellener. It was the fruition of a training ground routine and Bowen had notched his debut goal for England. 

A game that had looked so nicely balanced at the start of the second half, now fell by the wayside for the Republic of Ireland. England added a now obvious fourth goal following a well delivered corner. Marc Guehi, the steady and reassuring Crystal Palace defender, nodded the ball on with his head. Conor Gallagher, who now looks a much happier player since his move to Spain, prodded the ball over the line after a momentary consultation with VAR. The goal was given and England were on cloud nine.

And finally to add insult to injury for the Republic, a fifth goal must have seemed like the ultimate kick in the ribs. For the green shirts worn by Nathan Collins, Mark Mcguinness, Michael Johnson, former West Ham player Josh Cullen and Kasey McAteer, this was a night to wipe from their memories almost immediately. So it proved. Bellingham was once again here, there and everywhere and his beautifully angled ball into the penalty area found Southampton's emerging talent Taylor Harwood Bellis who thundered his header into the back of the net for another England goal. 

So what happens now? At the beginning of next year, former Chelsea manager Thomas Tuchel will take over as England manager and the lively discussions will begin. Will Tuchel have a World Cup qualifying campaign at the back of his mind or the more pressing issue of a UEFA Nations League trophy dominating his thoughts? Some of us would like to think that Tuchel will be prioritising  what might be another World Cup trophy for England. There can be no other consideration unless you're an England supporter who would give anything for a trophy of any description.

It'll be exactly 60 years since that iconic and wonderfully exhilarating July afternoon when London stopped on its axis. Sir Alf Ramsey just sat expressionless and hardly moved when he discovered that England had just won the World Cup. Surely even the most passionate of England's loyal followers will hardly give the UEFA Nations League another thought if the Jules Rimet Cup suddenly pops up on their radar. We await with our customary expectations.