Autism Awareness Month

 Autism Awareness Month. 

During your childhood you were never entirely sure what was going on inside that complex mechanism known as your brain. There were frequent moments when it all felt perfectly normal, straightforward and your behaviour was perfectly acceptable. There was nothing out of the ordinary. You learnt how to walk, talk, articulate toddler's emotions,  learning about all the basic rules and regulations, the laws and customs as they applied to your wonderful parents and what to do when the world expected you to abide by them. 

April marks Autism Awareness Month and as somebody who was diagnosed with Autism in 2009, this is one issue that has to be addressed. You feel sure that we have to be enlightened and discussions on the subject have to be out there in the public domain. Personally this has been a difficult, challenging, problematic if rewarding life journey since living in ignorance of Autism was perhaps the most awkward experience I've ever had. 

But now I have the most wonderfully loving and supportive wife, children and extended family you could possibly wish for and that's all that matters. My whole family have offered unconditional love and affection and for this I can be immensely grateful. The fact is though Autism can often be lost in translation, beyond my understanding and a general pain in the neck. Every so often your patience is tested to the limit since nobody can make head or tail of your body language.

This all goes back to your childhood again when you found yourself in a bewildering environment where friends, family and neighbours saw you in a perfectly rational light, the kid who just wanted to lead his life in much the way they were. And then complications set in very slowly but surely. I was painfully shy, reserved, withdrawn, lonely, solitary, self conscious and with none of the friends that my contemporaries had taken for granted. 

The truth is that the medical profession had suddenly discovered a condition known as Autism because this went much deeper than an obvious breakdown in communication. For those who have experienced Autism in all of its different forms, then you'll know what I'm talking about. There's the insistence on routine and structure, the nagging necessity to be at any specific location at a particular time. Sometimes it's just exhausting and occasionally demoralising since you certainly have no idea why life has to revolve around you. 

I now have my everyday coping mechanisms since Autism is now a fundamental part of life and, although not a source of interference, still makes demands on you subconsciously. You find yourself longing for familiarity, the comforting knowledge that everything is right and going well, craving reassurance should that be necessary. 

This is not to suggest that those with Autism are unusual although they can be unconventional and somehow unique. In a sense we function in the way that most people without Autism conduct themselves in public. But the list of tasks and responsibilities that Autistic people may have difficulty in undertaking are innumerable. Still, I do have a healthy acceptance of the Autistic condition and know all about the trigger points. 

At parties and family gatherings, I used to feel terribly uncomfortable, deeply isolated and confused about looks on faces, knowing the exact moment when to make the right comments in a private conversation. Of course I'm not tactless nor do I make appropriate references but there may be something in our dialogue that somehow goes over your head completely. 

Then there are the moments when you read between the lines in something people may say. Autistic people are, from my point of view, always searching for a deeper meaning to something that could be considered as trivial. And yet Autistic people are far from being conspiracy theorists believing that the outside world is saying nasty or unsavoury things about you behind your back. 

So there you are. This is Autism Awareness Month, whose generous patron is the Duchess of Edinburgh Sophie, whose eloquent support of this condition is much appreciated. Autism has been very good to me and there is a realisation that I'll never be alone in a world that maybe cruel and unforgiving, callous and indifferent at times. It's a mental health issue that has to be high up on the agenda of our supposedly kind and considerate politicians. Maybe just maybe it will always be their foremost concern and priority. We must hope. Thank goodness for the diagnosis of Autism.