Reform UK and Robert Jenrick

 Reform UK and Robert Jenrick.

Meanwhile, back in the hallowed corridors and lobbies of Westminster and the House of Commons, rumblings of revolution, dramatic appointments and new brooms are now upon us and not for the first time. There is always something vaguely comical and hilarious about the mysterious goings on in the crazy world of British politics. At some point, we'll all be suitably enlightened about what exactly is going on but, for the time being, it is now important to carefully monitor the latest developments in case we've missed something important. 

Yesterday, it all seemed to kick off when Nigel Farage, the new hot shot and upstart in Westminster's wackiest circles, looked as if he was creating some of the loudest noises. Nobody has ever seen a man like Farage because he's about as far removed from being a conventional politician as it's possible to be. He doesn't follow the standard script, he won't be told what to say and his personal agenda would appear to be in stark contrast to both the Tories, the Labour government and the Lib Dems. 

Of course Farage has to be taken seriously because he's already a political activist in the House of Fun at Question Time. During the week,  he stands on the side of humanity, the good of the people, their vested interests, their futures, their health, happiness and education. There can be nothing wrong with that and besides there is something of the man in the pub about his demeanour, something grounded, outwardly conveying common sense and, if you think about it, he's probably right. Or maybe not depending upon your point of view. 

What happened yesterday was truly mind blowing and truly unbelievable. Former Conservative MP Robert Jenrick appeared on the same stage as Farage's newly packaged Reform UK. Now Reform UK is a bolt from the blue, an astonishing political force, a radical breakthrough movement, the shifting of the tectonic plates and political dynamite. Reform UK, or so it would seem, does what it says on the tin. They want to give Britain back in the hands of the British, the perfect medicine to cure all of Britain's ills and ailments.

At the moment though, Farage does sound like the archetypal troublemaker, a dastardly demagogue, a powerful and convincing voice but 10 Downing Street could be wishful thinking on his part. He oozes confidence, makes his points clearly and eloquently but then reverts back to the kind of conversations we've all heard a million times over and over again. He loves his country of course he does but he just wants those who aren't British to be kept at arms length. 

You'd be forgiven for thinking that Farage is a rabid racist, xenophobic, outrageously controversial, nationalistic and just a bit of an anarchist. He sits in his local boozer with the man on the street, foaming pint of Guinness in his hand, cigarette clenched between his fingers and a decent geezer into the bargain. Good old Nige. He'll lead us to the promised land. There is a rainbow on the horizon. You can see it. It's over there. 

As soon as those French, Spanish, Italian, German or those fleeing war and persecution, are sent packing and told to stay where they are, the better off we'll all be. You do know that all of the above have taken all of the jobs the Brits should have been offered years ago. Yes, it's their fault and they're the only impediment to a prosperous British economy. Farage points the most accusing finger of blame on all of the families desperate to land at Dover.

For quite a while, we've seen the well documented news images on the TV. Thousands of nationalities are floating across vast seas in flimsy boats, risking life and limb, striving with all their might to find a warm sanctuary in Britain, a safe haven for the oppressed and downtrodden. So they stumble on dry land, scampering across the sand and searching for a sympathetic shoulder, a good meal and a welcoming environment. 

But Farage is on the warpath. In one breath, he maintains that everybody should feel a sense of real belonging and integration into the British way of life is theirs for the taking. Theoretically, he has no problem with the people genuinely looking for a good job, a normal, healthy lifestyle, highly rated schools for their children and plenty of work. So here's the sticking point. According to Farage though, if they're here to just claim the substantial benefits, then they should be prevented from going through Customs and never be allowed anywhere near the United Kingdom. And yet, Farage denies these alleged remarks with a vehement insistence. If you listen to Farage you simply can't go wrong. 

Yesterday though Farage shared a platform with Robert Jenrick and it all seemed very surreal and supernatural. There is something weird and abstract in the air, politicians jumping ship, deserting the party they thought they could trust. Now at Westminster, there is an air of betrayal, grave disappointment and disenchantment, a revolt and insurrection. Jenrick was fed up with the Tories, tired of the same old soundbites, platitudes and promises of full employment in all of their future plans.

So both Farage and Jenrick smiled for the cameras, determined to rectify the country's problems, lifting at once the cumbersome weight of all its chronic troubles. Maybe we should have seen this one coming. For decades, the political landscape has been full of dirty smudges, sneaky skulduggery, mischievous whispers and malicious rumours. First it was Boris Johnson, the blond bombshell who thought he could be Prime Minister but then ended up with a global virus called Covid 19. Poor Boris this was not what he'd signed up for. Then there was the right honourable and well intentioned Theresa May.

Despite relentless damage limitation and much hard work, May just couldn't hold back the tide of savage character assassination. Then Liz Truss wrecked the finances of the UK  five minutes after her brief tenure at 10 Downing Street. The country was in ruins. So Rishi Sunak stuck some more plasters on the bleeding wound and when somebody spotted him in the director's box of Southampton football club, we knew where his famous priorities lay. But of course Sunak wanted a better way of life for all of us. Nobody, though believed him. 

And so we return to yesterday's business. The Labour government, headed up by Sir Keir Starmer, is in control but not completely if you were to believe some. And that's where Jenrick and Farage came into the equation, through the tradesman's entrance. We knew that here there was a definitive moment of groundbreaking innovation, new brooms sweeping clean. The two men explained what sounded like the first pages of Reform UK's manifesto and we all held our collective breath. It'll never happen. Nigel Farage will never be our next Prime Minister. Or could he? 

Late last night we were informed that some other delusional entrepreneur who didn't go by the name of Nigel Farage, predicted with absolute conviction that the first hotel on the Moon was seeking planning permission. The rumour was that, eventually, a stunning five star hotel with lavish restaurants, friendly reception and suitcase carrying porters would be up and running within the next five to ten years. We greeted the story with the laughable scepticism it thoroughly deserved. And then there was Nigel Farage. 

Today we will be digesting the lofty ambitions of Farage and Jenrick. We will listen to both men and will try to make sense of their far sighted thinking. There will be curiosity followed by a large helping of cynicism. Farage will continue to travel the country, spreading the gospel and banging the drum for Reform UK while Jenrick  will become the latest traitor to abandon his party and leave the Tories dumbfounded. There may have been a more fascinating time in British politics but we may have to ponder about that one for quite a while since this is beyond our comprehension.