Once again England held by Uruguay- this time in friendly.

 Once again England held by Uruguay- this time in friendly.

Yet again England looked at a reflection of  themselves in the mirror and the images were uncannily similar. Whereas England were held in a vice like trap against Uruguay 60 years ago, now they were stopped in the tracks yet again, driving back out of a frustrating cul-de-sac and finding there was little room for manoeuvre. In 1966, Sir Alf Ramsey's England were caught up in the most horrendous traffic jam and snarl up. Uruguay were England's first group opponents on that sun lit July evening and now they were again in a friendly.

Back then the World Cup were not nearly as high profile as they are now although the mouth watering prospect of holding the Jules Rimet World Cup in England's fair and pleasant land was enough to have most of salivating and licking our lips. The very thought that Brazil, Portugal, Italy, Russia and West Germany were about to leave their wonderfully technical imprint on English shores held the nation transfixed. Winning the World Cup was simply a welcome bonus. North Korea of course weren't even remotely considered because they were both a shock and surprise in equal measure. 

But the goal-less draw between England and Uruguay in their opening group match in World Cup, now seems like some weird historical anomaly. In hindsight, it was probably a blessing in disguise because England still lofted high the Jules Rimet trophy and were duly anointed world champions with that famous 4-2 victory over West Germany. It maybe that England will still be thinking about Friday's dreadful fiasco against Uruguay until at least the conclusion of their friendly game against Japan on Tuesday. 

To say England were just an appalling shadow of their former selves on Friday evening would be the greatest understatement. England were simply dire, shapeless, clueless, an abject let down, not even competitive at any point and you wondered if their minds were truly on this game. It was good 90 minutes completely wasted, rather like a group of Bedouins wandering through a vast, empty desert. In fact this was just awful and atrocious, an ugly caricature of international football at its worst. Somebody should have reminded both England and Uruguay that this was supposed to be a football match.

But for 90 long and painful minutes, England and Uruguay were locked in the most grotesque tactical wrestling match of all time. It was like watching 22 sumo wrestlers slapping their thighs and grabbing hold of each other in some ludicrous contest of highly charged physicality. What ensued was some bizarre sequence of shoving, pushing, jostling and the occasional glimpse of attacking structure and cohesion. None of Friday's participants though seemed to be showing any genuine desire or inclination to actually win the match. 

England were wearing an almost unrecognisable red, a new kit but the same old problems. On Friday Thomas Tuchel's England were almost hiding their trump card against the South Americans. At times this felt like England's shadow squad masquerading as their usual first team. At no point did England ever look a threatening and menacing team capable of scoring for fun. This was not the way Sir Alf Ramsey would have approached a game of this nature. He'd have discarded his wingers immediately and simply gone for broke on the break. 

The problem is that England's subs bench, which will probably take the field against Japan, may be all they have to leave their opposition guessing. Admittedly, the big boys of Declan Rice and company could provide much more of a lethal bite moving forward. But on Friday evening the fans, who had probably come straight from the pub, must have been wishing that they'd have been in a drunken state before the game. This was not football as any of us would correctly define it as and surely far from intoxicating.

For long periods England lumbered forward over the half way line like a rusty old jalopy that is clearly not roadworthy. There were none of the connections or fluidities that would have made this game much easier to understand or appreciate. But the carburetor was creaking and no sign of the compatibility that England will almost certainly need come their opening World Cup group match against Serbia.

Certainly England will have nightmares about their opening World Cup group encounter against Morocco 40 years ago when Morocco just injected an anaesthetic into Sir Bobby Robson's England. Half way through the game the late and much loved Ray Wilkins had a rush of blood to the head when, in a fit of childish petulance, he threw the ball at the referee and was sent off. England would later come unstuck again when the Maradonna hand sent England packing and home against Argentina. 

Still, if England friendlies are to be taken seriously, then this may have been just a laboratory experiment that flared up in England's face. We are still baffled by the complete irrelevance of friendlies, sham exhibition matches which only trigger resentment and complete indifference.  In the end though England still shook hands with Uruguay and no egos were damaged as such. Maybe somebody will just allow the domestic season to just meander towards its thrilling end game.  

England fielded both Tino Livramento, Djed Spence, the struggling Spurs full back at the moment, the robustly dependable Harry Maguire with Chelsea's Fiyako Tomori shielding England's back four like one of the guards at Buckingham Palace. England were never ever disturbed or scared, nervous or in any way distraught because this was never that kind of a match. And so we were left to debate the pointless futility of this friendly. We are none the wiser and the match against Japan will just complicate the issue. 

Mystifyingly, Tuchel had picked a veteran Jordan Henderson at the centre of England's midfield and you can only assume that Tuchel was testing out his April Fools Day joke days before the event. Henderson now plies his trade at the grand old age of 35 and although a beacon light of composure and exemplary experience, this is not the way Tuchel should be approaching a World Cup with England. Henderson is still a calming influence and a steady barometer but he is not a match winner and, with the best will in the world, it is to be hoped that this is just a one off. 

James Garner, who is now providing David Moyes Everton with a splendid creativity and vision, made his England debut with a thought provoking and influential display to warm the cockles of all hearts. Garner was spraying passes to all points of the Wembley compass rather like a young Trevor Brooking or Tony Currie. Garner is far from being the midfield constant who could challenge the midfield dominance of a Brooking or Currie. But his name is James Garner and perhaps Hollywood may well come a calling one day. 

But with Phil Foden once again falling by the wayside for England and sparking no inspiration at all on Friday night, it was left to Dominic Solanke and Marcus Rashford to get England up and running. That they failed to create anything of any significance against Uruguay probably tells us everything we need to know about England at the moment. England, to their credit, were highly impressive in possession but kept bumping into light blue shirts rather like kids in dodgem cars at the local fair. 

With minutes though England did take the lead and for that we must be enormously grateful because had this game gone on for much longer in this vein, England fans would have been leaving their seats in their masses rather than just a simple trickle. But then England launched their last corner of their game and the ball was floated towards the far post. Amid utter pandemonium  and much pushing, shoving, jostling and pushing, the ball ended up right at the base of the post and Ben White, whose appearance had been the subject of so much pre match controversy, toe poked the ball over the line. 

Uruguay protested loudly and persistently but the goal was given. Uruguay, who surrounded the referee for a foul in the penalty area, were unrewarded. The South Americans had come as more than lightweight visitors who had just come down to London for a quick Selfie legacy of Buckingham Palace. It remains to be seen whether Federico Valverde can hold a candle to the late and great Juan Schiaffino or the immensely effective Luis Suarez of more recent times. But his firmly struck penalty as a result of a Ben White treading awkwardly on Uruguay feet, probably gave the game the right result. Honours even.