The Hilary and Donald show- one day to go and a nation awaits with bated breath.
It is increasingly more difficult to find anything nice to say about Hilary and Donald. You remember Hilary and Donald. They're the couple who suddenly came into our life when the European Union discussion slipped off the front pages and into the dusty archives. Hilary and Donald live in our neighbourhood or maybe they're just noisy neighbours who deliberately turn up the music just to annoy us and then have a barbecue in the middle of winter.
What more is there to say about Hilary and Don? At frequent points during this whole horrible fiasco Hilary and Don have come very close to killing each other. You get the impression that if somebody gave them a gun, rifle, flintlock or blunderbuss they would quite happily blow each other's brains out. .There has been hatred, loathing, resentment and hostility and that was only on one warm afternoon in the middle of August. Feelings are running dangerously high and it could turn into a bloodbath. It is hard to know why American politics has descended to the levels of the gutter but there's one day to go before the Americans vote for their next President and some of America is just closing its eyes.
It is tempting to think that most of the nation would rather vote for Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck or David Letterman as the next President rather than Hilary and Don. They could hardly do any worse so the consensus goes. It's at times like this when America romantically harks back to those good old days of Ronald Regan when the Americans fell deeply in love with the former matinee film star with the handsome looks.
It is now that the Americans must think back wistfully to those hazy, crazy days when George Burns and Gracie Allen represented everything that was gentle and apple pie about America. George would light up his 85th cigar and then whisper sweet nothings into Gracie's ear. Burns and Allen gave the Americans re-assurance and stability, a message of hope rather than pessimism.
Which is probably where Hilary and Don came in. Tomorrow the entire population of the USA step out of their homes and decide who their choice of next President will be. In a sense it is perhaps the worst choice the country will ever face. In front of the Americans lies a contest that can hardly be called one. Here are two people who have such sharply divided opinions on anything and everything that perhaps the whole thing should be called off and postponed until two credible and plausible candidates can be found. Much rather this than two characters who, in the eyes of many, look as though they've been chosen from the Adams family.
But.for better or probably worse this is the predicament America may find itself in. Do they just pretend that this just a dream, an illusion or some horrendous nightmare that may just go away and never come back or do they roll the dice and see what happens? Of course the Americans have known disasters and setbacks. Now though is the day of Judgment and perhaps this is the moment that will get progressively better. At the time the Wall Street crash and the Great Depression may have been regarded as America's darkest days but even then the country pulled together and dug deep into its strength of character bouncing back from adversity. 9/11 still seems like the worst tragedy the country has ever known but the whole of America drew admirably on their celebrated resilience. Sure it was tough and hard and tearful but the US united in a way that hardly seems possible. They did though and how good that must have felt.
Over the years, decades and centuries America has had so much to boast about: boldness, vision, ambition, determination to be the best, utter flamboyance, five star comedians, actors, actresses, singers, songwriters, skyscrapers, bewildering speed and frantic hullabaloo. America never stops to take breath, even to pause for a single moment. It has visibility, prominence, stubbornness, overflowing exuberance, a natural flair for self promotion, huge hotels the size of the country, the outspoken and argumentative and those who just want to shout out their views with a considerable voice.
Now though America has a different kind of problem. How to solve a dilemma like Hilary and Don?. Where did they come from and how did they get here in the first place. Donald stands proudly on his stage rather like one of those rabid, rampant trade unionists Britain used to have. Donald rants and raves at the top of his voice and keeps using that silly gesture with his fingers. He sounds like one of those fanatical speakers more usually associated with Speakers Corner. The speech keeps getting louder and more incomprehensible by the second with nothing rational in between.
It's hard to tell whether Donald Trump fully grasps the fundamentals of world politics. Perhaps beneath all the bluster and bravado there is indeed a calm inner voice of sanity. When he finally decides to get off his rather sizable soap box perhaps there does lie sanity. But for all his impassioned words about nothing in particular the feeling persists that poor Donald may just be heading for the last train to Clarksville. Nobody can be sure how a man with such worryingly extremist opinions could possibly fancy himself as the next President.
So what about Hilary Clinton? What about Hilary Clinton. On the last day before America votes in its next commander in chief, Hilary is trying desperately to keep a straight face. Even Hilary can hardly believe how close she is to becoming the next President of the United States. Yes Hilary it is true, Donald Trump is your rival and this is not some big budget Hollywood film. And yet Hilary is beginning to bite her fingernails because Donald is trying to find some dirty material on your past.
According to the latest newswires, Donald is really doing his utmost to dig up scandal after scandal. Donald believes that even if he loses the race to the White House he'll still take to her court and generally make life hell for her. The problem is that Hilary isn't quiet as whiter than white as she seems. She's being totally dishonest, secretive, sneaky and perhaps dabbling in the supernatural. Hilary, according to Donald is selling America short, breaking all the rules, stealing documents and betraying the country. In other words Hilary should just stand aside and let good old Donald sink his teeth into the job of President of the United States with as much conviction as he can. It all looks like a recipe for the most monumental disaster that America has ever endured.
And there was I thinking that America was the country that once gave us The Virginians, Peyton Place, Bonanza, Mark Spitz, Jessie Owens, Ed Sullivan, Johnny Carson, New York, Florida, California, Hollywood and Clint Eastwood. America will always have that devil may care dynamism and unquestionable focus. But tomorrow the country has to decide whether it's Hilary Clinton, the suave and confident wife of ex President Bill or a man who would allegedly sell you a rusty Cadillac without so much as a second thought. It is at times like this when you think back to those golden days of George Burns and Gracie Allen. America must be praying for good days ahead rather than the slapstick comedy it may get.
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