The Donald, Theresa, Hilary and Boris show.

The Donald, Theresa and Hilary and Boris show.

January looks down in the dumps at the moment. It probably needs cheering up, a pick me up. Perhaps we should take it to the cinema for a bit of escapism, a good, old fashioned romantic weepie, or maybe some monumental, action packed adventure movie. I'll get the popcorn and hotdogs January because you deserve it. Take it easy January. You've done brilliantly.

I've just looked out of the window again and January looks grey once again, metallic grey, battleship grey, haggard, gaunt and completely lacking in life. There is a gravity and solemnity about today that almost feels natural for the time of the year. Everything looks grim and bleak. The temptation is to just curl up into a ball and just hide in a dark cupboard. To most of us January just looks very worn and tired, sleepy and languid, a month that reminds you of the Beatles Long and Winding Road, that yawning period of time that almost seems colourless and soulless.

Here in Britain Prime Minister Theresa May has just confirmed that future relations with the United States of America will be not be jeopardised by anything. If anything it'll be strengthened by our permanently harmonious alliance. Ever since the halcyon days of Roosevelt and Truman  America has always called Britain its best buddy. America and Britain have always done things together because we just love each other. Theirs is a mutual appreciation of each other, an entente cordiale as the French would say. Their interests and cultures may be entirely different but we do know how to throw a good party or barbecue during the summer.

It'll be interesting to see what happens when our Theresa and Donald from the White House meet up for an amiable chat over coffee and presumably doughnuts. The conversation should be a fascinating one with plenty of references to Brexit and the EU but then things could get slightly lost in the translation. Of course we speak the same language and of course we get on with each other. But then talk may turn to Donald's inflammatory comments about women and this could be a sticking point. There could be several moments of social awkwardness and differences of interest between the two.

The problem here is that Donald may come a cropper. Theresa May will express her concerns and Donald, for perhaps the first time, will be speechless and dumbfounded. Donald, by his own admission, insists that he respects and loves women and yet. There is a big question mark over Donald's head. The accusations of sexism and misogyny may well come to haunt Donald Trump but there is a nasty smell in the air and the visit of a British female Prime Minister will not help Mr Trump's cause at all.

Theresa May, will of course, be at her most polite and courteous. She will graciously accept any compliments Donald will inevitably make. She will extend the hand of friendship and hospitality from this very driven and motivated man. And, if all goes according to plan, she may agree to attend an American football match, perhaps the imminent Super Bowl. But she will smile very agreeably and maybe bite her lip. This is not the way she thought things would pan out for her.

There is a logical thought process here. If Hilary Clinton had become the next President of the United States then both May and Clinton would have certainly become soul mates, forming a kindred spirit into the bargain.  This is because Clinton and May are strong and formidable women who are determined to shake things up and go for it. Both are sensible, practical and realistic which is what women have always been. Men just go to war and muck everything up. Women sort everything out.

No longer- and this has been the case for a number of decades- are women the meek, submissive housewives who spend the whole day cooking, baking, washing, cleaning, sewing and being bound to the kitchen sink. The days of domestic servitude are now a thing of the 1950s past and women have boldly announced themselves as confident and purposeful career types who can literally juggle a thousand plates, multi task and be everywhere. Women have always committed themselves to the family and the strength of the family unit but Theresa may have hit an unfortunate brick wall because Donald's family is not quite the one she was hoping to meet.

Theresa will not be chatting to Hilary but a blond haired bombshell by the name of Donald Trump. Now Donald's family is big and hearteningly united. But maybe Theresa would have preferred Hilary's family although on second thoughts maybe not. There's Hilary husband Bill and we all know about their domestic troubles. To the outside world there is a strong thread of dysfunctionality running through both families but I still think Theresa would have plumped for Hilary. And so the frothy soap opera continues. Life has to go on.

Anwyay back at the White House Donald Trump will now be carrying out one of his many election promises. Trump meant what he said at the time. That wall will be built and the people of Mexico must be feeling very hurt and rejected at the moment. What have they done to deserve this treatment? It's at times like this when the countries of the world become very angry and defensive. Mexico, you suspect will not be getting a Christmas card from Trump and the next couple of months could become very messy and complicated.

After the shocking and tumultuous events of 2016 maybe we need to cool down and chill out. Things were far too hectic and frenetic so this could be the right time to settle down and retain our composure. It is still hard to believe that a once bankrupt and corrupt businessman is President of the United States and Boris Johnson is British foreign secretary. But then the unlikely does occasionally happen at times and who knows what  lies ahead. Perhaps Phil Collins will come out of retirement. Hold on a minute. He has. Good to see you Phil.

 A part of me will insist that  I've just dreamt it all and then reality will intrude. On the surface, there is something in the air that tells me that all of the above are in the wrong jobs at the wrong time. There is an enduring air of incompatibility here although the optimists among us may be hoping that they can slap each other on the back, have a good laugh and form lasting friendships.

And yet if we employ commonsense and shrewd decision making it could just work out for the best. Theresa will gently guide Britain out of the European Union with care and attention to detail, Donald will doubtlessly charm everybody he meets up with, smile meaningfully for the cameras and then pinch himself because even he can't believe his luck. Who'd have thought it hey? Donald Trump is the 45th American president. It is set in stone and nobody can take that away from him.

So what about Boris Johnson here in Britain. Boris has now, quite perversely, established himself as a national treasure. The behaviour is now well documented, the persona quite definitely eccentric and ever so slightly incomprehensible. There are facets of Boris's character that challenge any description. And yet Johnson is endearingly old fashioned, conservative with a capital C and very definitely old Etonian.

We all know by now that Johnson's hair looks as if it's done 12 rounds with either of the Klitschko brothers and the suit looks as if it was never tailor made for him. And yet there is something essentially lovable if dandyish about him. The cynics will insist that there is something alarmingly buffoonish about Johnson but anybody who can speak several languages and quote Homer has to be reckoned with.

So there it is ladies and gentlemen. I give you Theresa May, Donald Trump but not Hilary Clinton. Still Hilary maybe it wasn't fated to be. But time is a great healer and who knows  the political landscape may look completely different in 10 years time although it's hard to believe so at the moment. Hilary as they say is history but Theresa, Donald and Boris has all the makings of an entertaining chapter in our lives. The characters are wonderfully contrasting but all three should certainly keep us entertained for the next couple of years. I know I'm looking forward to the next intriguing episode. That crystal ball could be quite handy. Keep going 2017.