Britain's most popular supermarket.

Britain's most popular supermarket.

Roll the drums, play that fanfare of trumpets and sing it from the highest steeple. Ladies and Gentlemen. I'm delighted to announce that, after much deliberation, Aldi, the German based supermarket, has become officially the most popular British supermarket. They've assessed the sales figures, run their eyes over the substantial profit margins and finally decided that no other supermarket does it quite as well as the rest. Let's hear it for Aldi, the relative newcomers in the supermarket community, a vast complex of food, drink and in recent times, household appliances, children's clothes and a bewildering selection of paper back books, musical DVD's and sheer abundance.

Aldi, for the record, have notched up 74% of the market which means they must be doing something right. In many ways this is a complete departure from the norm because the monopoly once held by Marks and Spencer has now been loosened by those German impostors who have only been around for a while. Now Aldi have suddenly muscled their way into the high street quite emphatically, cornering the supermarket. Sorry couldn't resist that one. It is Monday after all and I do have a repertoire of puns.

So why this dramatic sea change in our shopping habits? What on earth happened to Tesco and Sainsbury's, who once dominated the shopping landscape? Tesco and Sainsbury's were rather like extended members of our family because the others had yet to appear on our radar. For years and years wives and girlfriends always did their shopping in Tesco and Sainsbury's because they were handy, a major boon, a marvellous convenience simply located at the bottom of our road or street.

But now we've now reached 2018 and the hitherto cosy corner shop where everybody conducted their social life, has now been banished to the sidelines, overtaken and swamped by those giant food shopping edifices with plenty of room to park your car on several floors and a chance to savour that wonderful background music, now an almost essential part of that retail therapy experience.

Now, most of us are almost spoilt for choice and the halcyon days of tiny Sainsbury's, with meat counters that weighed your meat on the spot and enormous cash registers with keys, have now been consigned to the medieval age. How often did we see our friends and members of our family swapping good natured pleasantries and chit chat and wondered how the kids were and how they were doing at school?

Sainsbury's now though is that magnificent cathedral of everything that can either be eaten, drunk or worn. The aisles seem to go on for ever, the presentation of everything simply breathtaking and the shelves groaning with hypnotically different brands, cheap offers and bargains that hardly seem possible. And then there are more and more alternatives, variations on a theme that were designed to draw us into the shop anyway.

Sadly though Sainsbury's is languishing deeply near the bottom of the table for supermarket popularity. Now they can only score 62%, a huge setback to those who were conditioned to buying their bread and Corn Flakes there. The trolleys and baskets are still there but now Sainsbury's has possibly outstayed its welcome. The traditional shoppers will always find a comfortable position in their local shop but when the other hungry conglomerates came along, Sainsbury found itself chasing a lost cause.

Then there was Tesco, which seems to have become an almost permanent fixture on the high street and who, like Sainsbury's, have now fallen on difficult times. Capitalism has now assumed a new meaning and for those with money to spend, Tesco, once once of the most prosperous and fashionable of all supermarkets, is beginning to lose its customers because competition is now at its most intense and the prices are just unacceptably extortionate. Have you seen the price of butter and yogurt in Tesco? What about those terribly expensive carrots and lettuces which should be cheaper because the TV ads repeatedly tell us that this has always been the case?

The truth is that Waitrose, that bastion of the middle classes where butlers and chauffeurs would quite happily do their shopping for you, is now flourishing and remarkably accessible. Admittedly there are no freebie samples of champagne or tantalising caviar on every corner of the store. But the fact remains that Waitrose is rather like one of those rich country homes where the upper class grandees and earls of their estate can frequently be seen casting their careful eye on the price of milk or coffee. Waitrose are on 68% and raking in their millions with unashamed zeal and totally unapologetic into the bargain. Anybody for a bottle of Prosecco preceded by pate foie gras for starters?

Then there was Morrisons, which most of us regard as a second cousin to Sainsbury's or Tesco's. Morrisons seems to occupy the middle of the ground, neither pretentious or pompous. It doesn't assume airs or graces, nor does it ever lose sight of its core customers. Morrison's is our friendly neighbour, never looks down on anybody and, you suspect, is never prim, proper or condescending.

This is not to say that Morrison's counterparts turn up their collective noses at its fellow supermarkets because that would never do and besides there are reputations to think of and staff to look after. Morrisons just gets on with it, minds its business and every so often the tannoy will suddenly inform you that Jaffa cakes are now on sale at 20p rather than 60p. Can they be any fairer? It is the most enticing of all buy one get one free offers and arguably too good to be true.

It is now that we begin to think that both Morrisons and Asda are rather like good, old fashioned rivals who try desperately to undercut each other and then find that neither really achieves its desired sales target because the others are equally as fiercely competitive. Asda is relatively the new kid on the block, thrusting, ambitious but still finding its feet. At 63% Asda are learning the ropes of the materialistic merry go round and may find that the teething problems they may have encountered have now gone for ever.

For those of a nostalgic and misty eyed turn, it is time to turn the clock back to what might be perceived as the golden age of shopping. My fond recollections take me back to my Ilford youth when a store called Key Markets proudly stood in the Cranbrook Road with a fine and upstanding air of authority about it. Key Markets seemed almost as indestructible as any food and drink outlet, a huge palace of a supermarket with miles and miles of aisles, stacks of tinned food, fresh tender meat, gallons of milk, fruit juice and alcohol and the most genial air of welcoming bonhomie.

But Key Markets eventually fell by the wayside and the residents of Ilford woke up one day and found that it wasn't there anymore. So Key Market vanished, seemingly over night although the locals could still rely on Marks and Spencer and British Home Stores, two huge stores that reminded you of leisure centres with plenty of room to roam and wander at your leisure.

Along with another cheeky upstart by the name of Lidl who have now grabbed a phenomenal 69% of the supermarket, the staff at Aldi may well have woken this Monday morning to find that they are simply the best, the most desirable and an advertiser's dream. The balance of power has swung perhaps unfortunately and if we've learnt anything as a result of this announcement then it is that Tesco and Sainsbury's may have to up its game. Still this may be the time to extend a congratulatory handshake to the national managers of Aldi. But some of us can still smile at the mere mention of Key Markets. Memories are so good.