Autism- oh for those words

Autism- oh for those words.

I'm not really sure how to pitch this blog but I do know about its subject matter. As somebody with Autism and Aspergers Syndrome, I do know it does have its problems and complications. You can never be sure how or why things happen in the way they do and there are times when it does genuinely terrifying. And then you begin to hear voices inside your head  and imagine things that you know for a fact don't exist but are very much there.

If there's anybody out there with my Autistic condition who can identify I'd really like to hear from you. Because I'm Autistic I'd prefer somebody male. This is not because I'm a outrageous sexist but I'd really like talk to another guy with the same kind of Autistic symptoms as myself.

I know I have bizarre, irrational thoughts about words and grammar and because I now blog extensively and write books this may have something to do with it. These are just random words that keep hammering away at my mind. For some reason I begin to think that these words shouldn't be used and I have this now alarming tendency to look up the meaning of these words in online dictionaries and then do it repeatedly as if looking some kind of confirmation.

I know what's going on inside me but I can't seem to make sense of these intrusive thoughts. Privately I try to think of why this may be happening to me but its all very confused and confusing. Of course you think you may be going completely mad and that there is something very wrong with me. But the brain is a strange mechanism and it does things that people with Autism have no way of controlling or managing.

But come on I hear you say. Just chill out and keep drinking coffee. Keep calm, man. Go with the flow. Don't panic. It'll pass. I wish it was as simple as that. And yet there can be rational explanation for this weird and for me, frightening condition. I know this isn't right or normal but I would like to read any comments from you as a result of this blog from people with Autism or Aspergers Syndrome. I know I'm not unique but I would like to know if anybody feels like me at times.

Of course mental health is a widely discussed and frequently stigmatised subject. Now though I find myself  confronted by the kind of thoughts that ordinarily I would have shrugged aside but now believe to be very real and distressing.

So if there's anybody out there reading this blog I'd really like to hear from you if you have Aspergers. I cherish my health and mental health because my health is my wealth. Life is very sweet. precious and beautiful.