The Labour party conference, the Ryder Cup and the women's rugby union final between England and Canada.
There is so much going on this weekend that it is hard to know what to concentrate on. In fact at some point during next week, the global and beautiful Jewish community will also be gathering together in their droves. So here goes. Let's see what's first on the cultural itinerary before events unfold and we all brace ourselves for the final days of September. Of course Earth, Wind and Fire immortalised this month with stylishly jazzy homages to September and Facebook is currently offering its celebrated platform to all manner of dances, dance routines and happy go lucky people determined to enjoy the fruits of the autumnal harvest.
But today it's all kicking off but in a pleasant and civilised fashion. The women of the England rugby union team will be assembling for what could prove to be one of the most momentous and significant sporting occasions of recent times. The ladies of this fair isle will be pitting their wits against Canada, a nation who we genuinely believed had no rugby union heritage. So please forgive your scribe's ignorance but you had no idea that the country that gave us maple leaf flags of patriotism and grizzly bears in forests, had what it takes to become world sporting champions. So come on girls, we can do this one.
Meanwhile, in the United States of America, the golfing Ryder Cup is up and underway and Europe has got off to a flying start. This is the traditional confrontation between Europe and the USA when the first leaves have fallen and sporting egos are exposed for all to see. A number of years ago, it all got rather heated and antagonistic when both the Americans and the British got all uppity, annoyed and livid with each other. Voices were raised and the putting green at the final, decisive 18th hole turned into a childish flailing of fists and handbags at dawn.
Still, they'll be swinging their meaty, red blooded drivers, irons, woods and clubs from the driving range and a sigh of respectful admiration will be heard from the gallery of fans who follow their every swing and chip from the fairway.Then, a gentle murmur will descend on the green as the players lean forward and hunch their bodies in preparation. But the Ryder Cup is personal and quite spiteful at times because sport matters and this goes much deeper than we might have thought. And maybe that's the point when sport loses all perspective and gets carried away with itself, oblivious to the outside world.
Back in the wonderful city of Liverpool, the combined forces of the UK government were brainstorming, exchanging witty bonhomie, gossiping and, above all flying the red flag. The Labour party have now been in charge of Britain for well over a year now and the natives are restless. They're sharpening their tools and hunkering in their bunkers like a well drilled army. The delegates and hardcore members who have been Labour supporters ever since the days of Clement Atlee, will be furiously taking notes, gazing across the main debating chamber and wondering what exactly they might be doing that isn't quite right.
Sir Keir Starmer, Prime Minister was supposed to transform the fortunes of the country, boosting the morale of a party that had hitherto been going nowhere and just revolutionising the Labour party in a way they must have thought they'd never see again. After the glamorous days of Tony Blair when everything looked so rosy and righteously idealistic and Gordon Brown when things seemed to take a plunge, there was a 14 year period of Tory domination when things went rapidly downhill.
But now Starmer is in control and once again the critics are shredding all of those well intentioned ideas from Labour HQ. Firstly, there was the cost of living crisis followed swiftly by hard, hitting, draconian winter fuel allowances cuts on the elderly, poor and disadvantaged. It all just seemed to collapse around Labour's ears like a pack of cards. Then we realised what we'd done or hadn't done. We'd elected a new government rather like a gambler who walks into a casino and hopes they'll become prosperous almost immediately. It was all very haphazard and pointless. Then we discovered the roulette table wasn't working, the one armed bandit fruit machines were malfunctioning and what could we possibly do?
So Keir Stamer kept resorting to his foreign policies and found an unlikely ally in Donald Trump, surely one of the most comical and absurd Presidents of the United States of all time. Or was he? The bloodthirsty wars around him were attacking the remnants of Trump's sanity and Starmer simply lent a compassionate voice and ear. For the British Prime Minister things weren't working out at all well. So he came back to 10 Downing Street and now finds himself between a rock and hard place.
The outsiders and potty mouthed orators are blathering and nattering away like feuding neighbours, threatening quite seriously to take away Starmer's leadership and demanding a General Election. That brand new party the Reform UK are blustering away in the background, pleading with Starmer to send those illegal immigrants back to their country. Nigel Farage is the cheerleader and suddenly Starmer is public enemy one. Put them back on the boats and send them back from whence they came because Britain doesn't want them and they don't belong in Britain. It's time to take those visas away from them.
These are trying and very worrying times for the Labour party because they must have thought that all of those well entrenched Socialist ideologies were functioning beautifully. Labour were the party of the working class, the men who grafted away industriously in the mining collieries and pits and always did a decent shift for their country. Your dad voted for Labour and so did the shopkeepers, the factory workers, the builders, the cleaners, the barristas in coffee shops and the people who got their hands and fingernails dirty.
Now though Britain is still at war with its government and never quite sure where the country might be going. For 14 years, the Tories made all sorts of mistakes and financial blunders that could never be rectified. Poor Boris Johnson just looked on helplessly during Covid 19, crashing recklessly into highly inappropriate statements and horrible hypocrisy. Theresa May, for a while, came across quite favourably but then Brexit sent her tumbling into a tailspin before she had to resign and Liz Truss was here today and gone tomorrow. Her tenure as Prime Minister had to be the shortest in history but none of us knew whether she cared one iota.
And once again Labour are back in control of the purse strings and general welfare of the country and nothing seems to have changed. The party that once boasted the most famous pipe smoker of all time Harold Wilson, was simply disappearing into a hole from which there seems no escape. Wilson gave us the White Heat of Technology and the Open University, promising that while he was Prime Minister, Britain would never struggle or strive, agonise or ever stagnate. Britain would be comfortable, well off, affluent, bright and breezy.
Sadly though the unions announced themselves and destabilised Wilson or was it really their fault? Surely not. However, today the beer and sandwich brigade among the Labour rank and file will be shouldering arms, raising a glass for the proletariat and sounding off about everything from the price of milk and bread to the parlous state of the economy.
Liverpool has always prided itself on its proud maritime past but this week the Albert Dock will be resounding to the beat of thousands of Labour party feet, treading on hot coals metaphorically of course and then applauding rapturously when the names of Neil Kinnock, Tony Blair, Gordon Brown and Michael Foot are mentioned in conversation. This is going to be a difficult and problematic week for the government but when was this never the case regardless of party colours?
Even now the social commentators, newspaper columnists and clever magazine writers will be hovering around Merseyside, laptop in hand, cheeky, scathing and acerbic words at their disposal. The Labour party will go through the motions and know exactly where their loyal friends are. Some will be climbing walls and sniggering, snarling, chewing the cud before exploding with anger.
Liverpool is not, essentially, a political city but by the end of next week, we will know much more about the Sir Keir Starmer who had such ambitious plans for the country on day one as Prime Minister. Fear not Mr Starmer, and to quote one of his predecessors, things can only get better. Now where have we heard that before? We know Tony Blair coined this golden phrase because he was an eternal optimist and that's all that matters.
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